Swingers in San Antonio
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When Mireya and her boyfriend decided to become swingers, they took baby steps toward having sex with other couples.
“I did think that there was going to be jealousy,” said Mireya (not her real name), who frequents S.A.’s swinger-friendly Player’s Club. “The first night, that was a big struggle for me. But once I was in the situation, and I saw other females were attracted to (my boyfriend) ... it was more of a turn-on versus jealousy.”
Mireya, who is in her early 30s, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for six years. The couple has been swinging for the past four.
San Antonio has a private but vibrant community of couples who trade or add sexual partners. This practice is referred to as swinging or “the lifestyle.” It may also be called “playing.” In addition to the long-standing couples-only Player’s Club, Riverside Ranch in Elmendorf became a lifestyle resort this year.
Unlike polyamory, in which a person may have many emotional relationships at once, couples who swing are emotionally committed only to their partners, though they might have sexual relations with other people.
Statistics vary on how many couples in the U.S. swing. Some say no more than 1 percent of couples have tried swapping partners, while other estimates are as high as 15 percent. However, AdultFriendFinder, a site for swingers and adult personals, boasted more than 22 million members in 2007, according to a report on Ask Dan and Jennifer, an online source for relationship advice. About 800,000 of those members were from Texas.
In January, Riverside Ranch, which formerly catered to nudists, became a clothing-optional lifestyle resort for adults only. The 25-acre property features a swimming pool and two hot tubs as well as RV and tent sites. The switch has been good for business. More members joined the resort in May than in any other month in the past nine years, according to the ranch’s newsletter.
To showcase the resort’s new focus, Riverside Ranch will host the July 4th Lifestyle Stimulus Bash from Thursday, July 2, to Monday, July 6. The event will include live music, an erotic fashion show, body painting, “nekkid” Twister and oil wrestling.
“Our goal right now is really to announce Riverside Ranch is changing its program,” said the ranch’s owner, who did not want to be named because of the nature of his business.
“There’s some that just want to be around that freedom, and then there’s some that do want to experience a partner change,” said the owner of the ranch’s clientele. “It doesn’t mean that you’ll see orgies. There’s no public sex.”
While Riverside Ranch may be one of the newest places to swing near San Antonio, the Player’s Club has long been an established local favorite with those living “the lifestyle.” The Player’s Club is also encouraging its members to attend a special July 4 theme night in patriotic attire.
The owner of the couples club, who prefers to go by the name Randy because of the nature of his business, said the economy might be in bad shape, but his business is still doing quite well.
“We have been through several economic cycles,” Randy said. “And during the economic recessions like we’re in right now, we tend to see more people at the club than normal. They always say liquor is recession-proof. The so-called vices are recession-proof.”
Randy and his wife opened the club about 10 years ago after wearying of the drive to Friends in Pflugerville, which was the closest lifestyle club at the time. The Player’s Club now boasts a membership of about 3,000 people. While members range in age from 21 to those in their 70s, Randy said most are in their 40s and 50s.
The BYOB 12,000-square-foot club features a dance floor, pool and poker tables and, according to Mireya, several rooms with beds arranged in various ways that can be used for close encounters.
“They also have one big room in back which, I think, is a free-for-all,” Mireya said. “They have about five beds pushed together and ... everyone in the area is pretty much going to be having intercourse with other people.”
Mireya said the club is clean and classy and that she has met many affluent people there, such as doctors, lawyers, military members and professors.
But despite this clientele, swinging still is something most participants keep to themselves.
“I don’t think everyone is as accepting,” said Mireya, who worries about how her employer and her family would react if they knew.
Mireya and her boyfriend always use condoms while “playing,” and they prefer swinging with people they don’t know rather than friends.
“I just feel more comfortable knowing that I don’t have to face this person the next day,” she said.
Mireya, who is bisexual, said she and her boyfriend make their own rules about what they are each comfortable with when it comes to “playing” with another couple or having a threesome.
“Am I comfortable with him having intercourse with another female? Yes. Am I always comfortable with having intercourse with another male? Not necessarily,” Mireya said.
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