A very strip club lunch
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Strip steak never tastes better than when you eat it while watching a dancer twirl around in the semi-buff. You guessed it! It’s time for 210SA’s second annual strip club lunch review. We tried to keep our eyes on our ribeyes, but we may have taken just a tiny peek at the performers to give you a thorough account of the club and lounges that comprise San Antonio’s strip club scene.
This year, we put our dollar bills to work buying $3 hamburgers, $6 steak and shrimp plates and maybe a few lap dances. Read on to get the lowdown on Rick’s Cabaret, All Stars, Babes Men’s Club and Wild Zebra. We’ll tell you about the best steak, the top waitress and the most acrobatic dancer we’ve found around town. To hear the full conversation with reporter Jennifer “Lola” Lloyd, copy editor Jennifer “Delicious” McInnis, Web editor Dustin “Cinnamon” Coleman and designer Joaquin “Bunny” Herrera, listen to our podcast reviews at www.210SA.com.
Rick’s Cabaret
Location: 5418 Brewster St.
Info: (210) 657-2800; www.ricks.com/SanAntonio
Cover: $5 at lunch
Stilettos (out of 5): 3 1/2
The meal: We’re suckers for cheap steak, and the $5.99 steak and fried shrimp lunch special was well worth the price. The shrimp were big and crispy, the fries were well-seasoned and there was Texas toast on the side.
“I had the steak cooked medium, and although it wasn’t the tastiest I have ever had, I kept remembering the price tag,” Coleman said. “I wouldn’t hesitate to get this hefty plate again.” Also, keep in mind that Rick’s gives free refills for iced tea but not for sodas. Be sure to save room for dessert. “What really pushed this meal to its climax was the Chocolate Orgasm we shared for dessert,” Lloyd said. The huge slice of cake — a delicious combination of chocolate cake and cheesecake — cost $7.
The moves: When we first entered, we had to wait awhile before any dancers took the stage. That aside, there was a lot of touchy-feely going on. Of all the dancers we saw in the four strip clubs, our favorite performer worked the pole at Rick’s Cabaret. Though she went by the name “Baby,” her moves were meant for mature audiences only. Baby descended 15 feet down the stripper pole, doing flips and spins along the way.
“Jeez, I felt like a freaking seal clapping his fins and hollering ‘rur, rur, rur, rur,’” said Coleman of his reaction to Baby’s acrobatics. McInnis got a closer view of Baby when she went up to give her a tip. “She purred in my ear,” McInnis said. “Baby, you rock.”
The mood: The ambiance was relaxed, and the lounge-like environment was augmented by an onstage fog machine. The few other patrons who were there chatted with dancers and experienced excellent service by the waitress named Roxy. But Coleman said what killed it for him was the bathroom.
“How can you go eat a juicy steak after you’ve huffed strong urine stench during a quick trip to the bathroom to wash your hands?” Coleman asked. “But remember, steak and shrimp for $5.99!”
All Stars
Location: 9440 West I-10
Info: (210) 593-0576
Cover: $5 at lunch
Stilettos: 4 1/2
The meal: All Stars had some great lunch specials. Come hungry and grab the $5.95 steak and grilled shrimp plate or the hamburger for about $3. Coleman said his steak was slightly overdone but still juicy and well-seasoned.
“On top of that, the fries were steak fries, and there was a veggie medley and a roll, making the food a standout among the places we visited,” Coleman said.
“The one good thing about our meal here was that the drinks were huge!” Herrera said. “No worries about running out of liquid here.” If you’ve got the urge to eat healthier, order the blackened salmon salad for $6. The filet of salmon comes atop crisp lettuce, croutons, Parmesan cheese and dressing.
“The salad also comes with two thick slices of garlic toast, so you won’t feel carb-deprived,” Lloyd said.
The moves: Girls were everywhere at this joint. Even during the lunch hour, there were girls dancing on the main stage and two side stages. The variety of girls and the quick rotation kept viewers, like us, entranced. Some of the strippers were quite forward about wanting to dance for the clientele. One woman, wearing a bikini bottom and a cropped T-shirt that exposed her pierced nipples, approached our table several times in the hopes of giving us lap dances. Take note: $5 lap dances on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
“On the down side, the hottest women were hard to get to,” McInnis bemoaned. “They were usually whisked from the stage to the VIP section or for a private dance, leaving me clutching my dolla bills.” But it certainly looked as though those who paid for dances got their money’s worth.
“Those girls worked their clients over like they were in a UFC match, minus the punching and broken bones,” Coleman said. “Hey, there’s an idea: The Saturday Night Stripper Fights!”
The mood: The sports-theme décor was cool rather than cheesy, and the fact that they have a side stage with a pole shaped like a basketball hoop is pretty sweet. The patrons, wearing anything from business suits to blue-collar uniforms, were abundant. But be careful, you may lose track of time in this dark and energetic environment.
Babes Men’s Club
Location: 9504 Perrin Beitel Road
Info: (210) 599-2836
Cover: $5 at lunch
Stilettos: 4 1/2
The meal: “While my compadres got the $5 ribeye and fries special, I opted for the $7.75 chef salad” Lloyd said. The salad came loaded with lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, boiled egg, dressing and turkey and ham strips. But those who chose the ribeye were more than satisfied.
“I ordered mine medium-rare and was expecting a small chunk of steak,” Coleman said. “What I got was a perfectly cooked large ribeye, charred on the outside, red and juicy in the middle. This steak was as good as any ribeye I have had anywhere.” Herrera also touted the steak he chomped down.
“The meat melted right in my mouth at first bite,” he said. “I would definitely go back for this piece of meat.”
The moves: Though there was some down time between dancers, the ladies at this club seemed to be having a lot of fun with their work. The first three or four girls were hot, curvy babes that made good use of the small stage and stripper pole. McInnis said she tipped one of the ladies and “saw a little too much.” Coleman, a fan of full-figured strippers, said he was in heaven at Babes.
“The downside was the wait between dancers,” Coleman said.
The mood: Babe’s is a small, intimate, ambient room and was probably the smallest club of the four. It was dimly lit with flashing, colored lights and it had a warm and inviting feel to it. The music wasn’t overly loud, which let us talk to one another. Coleman pointed out another plus.
Even though it was a Monday, those in attendance were having a good time and mingled with the staff and dancers. And, though their outfits may have been lacier, these girls weren’t afraid to rock out to songs by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Evanescence.
Wild Zebra
Location: 2525 NE Loop 410 No. 108-B
Info: (210) 646-6331
Cover: $7 at lunch
Stilettos: 3
The meal: After we unwittingly consumed several non-free refills of nonalcoholic beverages such as iced tea and diet coke, the bill for the drinks alone came to nearly $40. Ouch! But the food was cheap. A monster burger with fries was only $2.99, and the strip steak and fries cost $3.99.
“I ordered the steak medium, and it came out kind of tough with mediocre fries,” Coleman said. “Was I disappointed? For $4, not really. In fact, for that price, I would order it again.”
Herrera ordered the monster burger and said it lived up to its name.
“The patty was tasty, and the bun had a sweet kick to it,” Herrera said.
For $5, you could get a juicy, perfectly seasoned grilled chicken breast, fries, Texas toast and a salad of iceberg lettuce, cheddar, baby tomatoes, cucumber and ranch dressing. Our recommendation is to eat up, but just drink water.
The moves: You have to hand it to Wild Zebra. The place wasn’t crowded this day, but they still had three dancers dancing at all times.
“Like All Stars, this place had a diversity of girls, one of which had a super-dark complexion and was wearing a fedora and shaking it to Kings of Leon’s ‘Sex on Fire,’” Coleman said. “That shit was hot.” Also, we all gasped at the girl who dropped five feet down the stripper pole into perfect splits. “I ran up to the stage side in case she was injured and needed stripper resuscitation,” Coleman said. “Unfortunately, she was fine.”
The mood: The music playing ran the gamut from songs by Michael Jackson (which the stripper danced to while wearing a fedora) to more recent favorites by 3oh!3. Mirrored walls gave the space a nightclub-like setting that was only disturbed by the random stuffed deer and elk heads on the wall. The chairs were also super comfortable. And there is an adult novelty shop next door!
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