By John Henrichs

Long line is torture for ‘Waterboard Thrill Ride’

A man with a black hood pours water on the face of a prisoner strapped to a table. No, it’s not Guantanamo Bay — it’s New York’s Coney Island amusement park. The scene using robotic dolls criticizes waterboarding, a controversial U.S. interrogation technique. “Waterboard Thrill Ride” beckons with a sign and cartoon character “SpongeBob SquarePants” who appears tied down and exclaiming: “It don’t Gitmo better!”

The 210 take: This beats their new “The Economy” roller coaster. It just keeps going downhill.

Russia attacks Georgia— no, not that Georgia
 
Russia and the former Soviet republic of Georgia moved toward full-scale war after Russian troops and warplanes moved into a disputed territory. The fighting over Abkhazia — a pro-Russian region that won de facto autonomy from Georgia in the early 1990s — was the worst clash between Russia and a foreign military since 1979. Georgian officials said their only way out of the conflict was for the United States to step in, but U.S. military intervention was unlikely.

The 210 take: Movie dialogue translation — Georgia: “Where shall I go, what shall I do?” U.S.: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Edwards was donating to his own campaign

Former Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards has admitted to an extramarital affair. The admission dealt a political blow to Edwards, who made his marriage a central part of his overall message during the 2008 primaries. Edwards acknowledged the affair with 42-year-old Rielle Hunter, which began after she was hired to make campaign videos. He denied being the father of the woman’s 5-month-old child.

The 210 take: A charismatic Southern presidential contender who cheats on his wife? Didn’t we already elect this guy?

Turns out, elevators can also b-e aggressive

Police and firefighters were called to Jester Hall at the University of Texas in Austin to free 26 cheerleaders who had crammed themselves into an elevator. A group of 14- to 17-year-olds attending a cheer camp decided to see how many girls they could squeeze into the dorm elevator. When the doors wouldn’t open, the panicked girls managed to wiggle a few cell phones free to call for help. But it took about 25 minutes before a repairman was able to fix the door, police said.

The 210 take: The first collegiate lesson for these girls: You don’t mess with Texas elevators.

Next comes a bill with Ned Flanders’ face on it

A one-euro coin has turned up in Spain bearing the face of cartoon couch potato Homer Simpson instead of that of the country’s king. Shopkeeper Jose Martinez was counting the cash in his till in the city of Aviles, northern Spain, when he came across the coin where Homer’s bald head, big eyes and big nose had replaced the serious features of King Juan Carlos. “The coin must have been done by a professional; the work is impressive,” he said. “I’ve been offered 20 euros for it.”

The 210 take: I guess that’s one coin that’s worth a lot of d’oh.

With staff and wire reports