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| 210SA strips down lunch deals at local gentlemen’s clubs |
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| Tuesday, 12 August 2008 | ||||||||||||
The Palace Men’s Club Stripper stilettos: 4 out of 5 Sumptuous special: 7 seafood buffet on Fridays (does not include drinks) Locale: 2482 NE Loop 410 Info: 210-599-6011; thepalace-mensclub.com Dustin: Let’s start off at The Palace. It was our first place. ..... There was a little bit of nervous energy; it was the first time. You know, you don’t usually go and look at breasts with your co-workers. JLloyd: Speak for yourself. (Laughs) Dustin: What did you guys think? Joaq: I was very impressed when we walked in because everything was very clean. It was very elaborate. The ceiling had a fresco painted on it. The tables were nice with little candles. It smelled really nice.
Dustin: And they had chandeliers too. And white linen cloths on the tables. Pretty neat place to walk into. Julie: The bar was pretty neat too. Dustin: And what about the food? This place was the $7 seafood buffet on Fridays. And we picked that place particularly because we all thought, “How good can a 7 buffet be?” JLloyd: This was really the best deal of all of the strip clubs because the $7 got you in and got you what was actually a pretty decent seafood buffet. And I was kind of intimidated about walking into the strip club for lunch. ..... Julie: With co-workers. JLloyd: But it really was worth the while. Dustin: Any surprises? What about the drinks? Julie: 5 drinks for Cokes. ..... Julie: How can that be? Dustin: So what was once a $7 buffet quickly becomes $11.50. But there is no cover charge, so you get the entertainment for free, and you have to pay for everything else. Julie: Well, the entertainment is free if you’re really cheap. Dustin: We’ve talked about the food. What did you guys think about the girls? Joaq: I’ll be the first to admit that when I walked in and saw a topless woman, I kind of freaked out because I’m used to seeing topless men or men in a thong. Julie: Or bottomless men. (Laughs) Joaq: Yes, but a topless woman is just different. ..... JLloyd: Oh, yeah. Joaq: So when I walked in, I was like, “Oh, my god. This is kind of awkward.” But once I tipped the dancer, you know they’re just girls trying to make a living. They’re just trying to be entertainers, and it’s an honest living. Dustin: Did you guys have a tough time eating and watching the strippers? Julie: I think we were all awkward. (Laughs) It’s kind of weird. It’s bizarre, and there’s still a taboo, I suppose. But there were other people in there eating, guys in business suits, guys in uniforms. So ..... JLloyd: Some of the strippers sampled the buffet also. Dustin: They were scarfing. JLloyd: You know if the strippers were eating it, it was good stuff. Joaq: I also have to say that the girls in The Palace, I feel, were the classiest of all the girls.The women seemed a lot like they paid a lot of attention to what they were wearing. Like, they weren’t just there to strip. They were there to look good. Perfect 10 Men’s Club Stripper stilettos: 3 out of 5 Sumptuous special: $2.99 Perfect Steak & Fries (does not include cover and drinks) Locale: 111 NW Loop 410 Info: 210-344-6601; sugarsperfect.com/p10sa Dustin: So moving on. Our next place, after we were strip-club veterans, was Perfect 10. And what attracted us to this place was what was called the “$2.99 Perfect Steak & Fries.” I got that, and I really enjoyed it, especially for $2.99. Who else got the steak, and what did you think of it? Joaq: I got the steak. I got mine medium. ..... It’s not the best steak I’ve ever had. But for 2.99, it was a really good steak, and the fries were tasty. Dustin: The fries were really crispy, and it came with a really fresh crusty baguette. But what I thought was kind of weird was the waitress came to our table with a receipt notebook and read off the menu of what they had. There wasn’t a real menu. I don’t know, what you guys think?
JLloyd: I think people don’t come there for the food. (Laughs) I deviated from the steak and fries, and I got a salmon salad, and it was pretty good. The croutons weren’t anything above average, and the dressing was fairly standard. But it was edible, and it was a salad at a strip club, which seems even more odd than a steak. Joaq: You can be healthy at the strip club. Julie: That’s right, you can make good choices at the strip club. (Laughs) I had the steak and fries too, and I thought it was OK. Like Dustin said, $2.99 for a steak and fries. ..... I wasn’t expecting Ruth’s Chris or anything like that. But it was good. What stood out most in my mind at this place was everybody was really friendly. Everybody was really attentive. Everybody had a ready smile. I’m sure they’re not used to seeing chicks come in for lunch to the strip club. Jennifer and I were treated well and very nicely. Dustin: It definitely wasn’t as “classy” as The Palace. It was more like your corner bar with strippers, basically. They had, like, tiger skin rug. And everything was a little more cramped in there, smokier. Moving to the girls, these were my favorite girls. These were rocker chicks, party girls. Joaq: They were definitely there to show you a good time. They were very friendly, of course, but I agree with Dustin. They were, um, happier. (Laughs) I don’t know how to describe it. Julie: They were more like the stripper next door than the unattainable gorgeous Hugh Hefner chick. Joaq: I did tip a stripper here, and it was very interesting because she really gave me 3 worth of entertainment. Dustin: She damned well earned it, didn’t she? Joaq: She earned it. I saw her front side. I saw her backside. I saw her feet. I saw her face. And the most interesting part was she grabbed my head. ..... Julie: Oh, my god! Joaq: And pretty much devoured me with her chest. So it was very interesting for me. Sugar’s Stripper stilettos: 3 out of 5 Sumptuous special: $2.99 Sugar’s World Famous Steak & Fries (does not include cover and drinks) Locale: 2731 NW Loop 410 Info: 210-340-1289; sugarsperfect.com/ssa Dustin: Moving on to our third place. At this point the newness and the fun of the strip-club adventure started to get a little, you know, we’ve done this. We’re veterans. Joaq: Been there. Done that. JLloyd: Seen all those titties already. Julie: When we walked in, I thought this is the strip club you see on the movies and in shows and you know like, “Beverly Hills Cop.” When people think strip club, this is what they think of. And interestingly, this place was the only one so far that had poles! When you think strip club, you think of the pole. There were a lot of people in there for lunchtime on a Wednesday. JLloyd: Some looked like businessmen and some looked like college boys. Dustin: Nothing says strip clubs like boar heads and deer heads and a big bear up on the wall. I thought it was kind of funny when I first walked in. They brought the menus out, and quite honestly, I found the menu a little boring. It was kind of your run-of-the-mill bar food. I got a cheeseburger and fries and a Diet Coke and, just to be honest, the fries were a little cold. The Diet Coke tasted really, really bad. But the burger was very nice. It was a big juicy burger, and it was a half-pound. So, I don’t know. This wasn’t my favorite place as far as the food goes. This place kind of failed me on the fries and Coke. JLloyd: I was unimpressed with the food there. I ordered the Sugar’s California chicken sandwich for $6.49, and it was missing the avocado, which is about the only thing that makes it a California chicken sandwich. And the waitress was missing in action most of the time. I don’t know if she was practicing her stripping in the back or what. But she was not at our table for sure. Julie: I had the Triple Decker Club sandwich, and it was huge and good. I couldn’t finish it. And I asked the dude who came out to clear our table, I’m like, “Can I get a to-go box?” He laughed at me and said, “We don’t have to-go boxes, ha-ha.” And I said, “Well, I’m not leaving my sandwich.” It was like half of this club sandwich! So I wrapped it up in one of the linen napkins and put it in my purse. Dustin: Well, moving on to the girls. Joaq: We loved the stripper named Brenda because she was the first stripper we felt had real dance training and had real dance moves while she was stripping. She was doing pirouettes. She was kicking her legs up. She was doing these jazz moves. JLloyd: And to classic rock music, too. To The Doors. I was very impressed. She was by far my favorite stripper of this little adventure, and I felt like she was really classy too. Guys came up and they paid her for dances, but she wasn’t over the top. She left some mystery intact, which I think is great. Joaq: She was very polite too. When I gave her a couple of dollars, she rubbed my head and then she did her little dance, she did her pirouette and I enjoyed it. And when I was leaving, she spanked my ass. Julie: It was a little something extra. Joaq: It was like a little love tap. San Antonio Men’s Club Stripper stilettos: 4.5 out of 5 Sumptuous special: 9 prime rib and pasta buffet on Fridays (does not include cover and drinks) Locale: 8244 Interchange Parkway Info: 210-590-7088 Dustin: Well, moving on to our last destination, we went to the San Antonio Men’s Club.This was kind of a Las Vegas-style strip club. It was fun, but classy. The buffet, I was really impressed. I think the big items on the menu that day were the pasta bar and prime rib. Julie: This was the priciest place, for sure.It was 9 for the buffet, plus the 5 to get in. Dustin: Do you think it was worth it, Julie? Julie: I do. I shouldn’t have gotten the prime rib. I’m not a prime rib lover. I should’ve gone for the pasta instead. The guy was ready there to make it with a bunch of fresh ingredients. I liked the fresh salad. Joaq: There was a veggie tray with cheese. Dustin: And do you guys remember the herbed mashed potatoes? Julie: Those were so good! Joaq: I liked the variety. There was a whole bunch of food, and unlike the seafood buffet you could have the fish, you could have prime rib, you could have pasta, or you could have it all. And I liked that. I think you get more for your money here. You’re definitely paying for a different atmosphere, but you also are paying for more food, more variety. Julie: Better quality. Although I thought The Palace quality food was pretty good. JLloyd: I also liked the music here better than some of the other places. I felt like it was a lot newer. To segue here, one girl didn’t strip, which was kind of strange.But it was at a strip club, so I was kind of expecting her to. She just kind of wiggled around and refused to strip. I don’t know if it was a protest dance or what. Julie: But Dustin, what about the girls who did strip? Dustin: I think out of all the places, they were the true kind of supermodel types. These were the stereotype of the stripper. Tall. Thin. Kind of dark women. JLloyd: Demi Moore look-alikes? Dustin: Don’t get me wrong; these weren’t my favorite set of girls. But when you’re talking about, like, supermodel types, these girls were pretty attractive. Julie: And they were quite friendly weren’t they? Joaq: They were very friendly. Men would approach them, and I felt for sure that they got their money’s worth. But I also felt like the women here looked a lot younger than all of the other women that we’d seen. Dustin: How ’bout you Julie? Did any girl catch your eye? Joaq: Julie was quite popular. Dustin: There was one of the waitresses there who just every time she walked by tried to make eye contact with Julie and just smiled really big. And Julie blushed. Joaq: Someone’s got a crush. Julie: Nerd. Well, that is extremely flattering to me. As women know, women are pretty catty and highly critical of other women. So if a woman finds me attractive, I take that as the highest compliment. Joaq: That’s pretty hot.
Dustin: So are you guys going to hit the strip clubs anytime soon? Julie: No. (Laughs) JLloyd: Uh, no, probably not. Although if I did have a boyfriend, I would consider going back to the San Antonio Men’s Club with him, like, for a birthday present or something. Joaq: Aw, that’s sweet. Dustin: Aw, that is. Julie: You know, I have to say, of all the places we went to if for some reason a bunch of us were to go out and have drinks, I would not mind sitting around, drinking and having a good time at the San Antonio Men’s Club. I felt the least awkward ..... the least icky at the Men’s Club. Dustin: Perfect 10! Party chicks! Julie: I liked Perfect 10, too. Joaq: Actually, I had fun at all of them. Julie: That’s what I was going to say. Everybody was really friendly. I expected, when Jennifer and I walked in, that maybe the chicks would not be as friendly to her and me. But they were absolutely, very friendly. Everybody at every club was super nice. There was not one biatch to be seen anywhere. |
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