Exercise pill gives mice quite a workout
 

A new drug might be exercise in a pill. Sedentary mice that took a drug for four weeks burned more calories and had less fat than untreated mice. And when tested on a treadmill, they could run about 44 percent farther and 23 percent longer than untreated mice. Researchers say such a drug might help treat obesity, diabetes and people with medical conditions that keep them from exercising.

The 210 take: Hopefully, they’ll also make a pill that gives us the energy to lift the exercise pill all the way from our fat fingers to our chubby mouths.

New plan to stop illegal immigration: Ask nicely
 

The Bush administration is inviting people who have ignored orders to leave the country to surrender at immigration offices and leave voluntarily. Immigration and Customs Enforcement is launching the program in five test cities (none in Texas). People who register for “Operation Scheduled Departure” will have 90 days to get their affairs in order before leaving.

The 210 take: It’s all part of President Bush’s “comprehensive immigration reform” — make it so bad here that illegal immigrants line up to flee this country. 

 
World’s oldest joke needs a laugh track
 
A gag about breaking wind which had people laughing 4,000 years ago is the world’s oldest joke, according to a new survey. “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap,” goes the joke dating from 1900 BC, which originated in what is now southern Iraq. The British study defined a joke as having a clear set-up and punch line.

The 210 take: The world’s second oldest joke: “That’s what she sayeth.”

McCain: So old he thinks Hilton is a ‘celebrity’
 
Paris Hilton’s mom has taken offense at John McCain’s humor. Kathy Hilton said a McCain ad comparing Barack Obama to celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears is “a complete waste of the money” people have donated to the campaign. Kathy Hilton and her husband donated a total of $4,600 to McCain’s campaign earlier this year.

The 210 take: The Hilton family must realize in hindsight that they shouldn’t have donated money to McCain. But then, everything is clearer in hindsight (and in video camera night vision).
 

When life gives lemons, open a lemonade stand

The city’s newest lemonade stand entrepreneur is a 19-year-old MacArthur grad. Elias Carofilis thought of the idea after losing his job at the Fort Sam Houston Commissary. He takes in up to $800 a day when he sets up his stand at one of five North Side locations and hopes to use the profits to open a juice bar.

The 210 take: When asked about the competition, little Timmy, 5, said: “It’s symptomatic of the struggle we all face vis-à-vis corporate behemoths and independent retailers. Plus, he’s a poopyhead.”

With staff and wire reports