Dustin Coleman’s guest this week is Not Necessarily a Critic columnist Chris Quinn.

DC: So Chris, why do you think men cheat?

CQ: Why do they cheat? Your basic answer is they’re horny. Or what’s that whole nurture versus nature deal? That’s a very scientific way of putting it.

DC: You’re talking smart sh*t now.

CQ: I’ve never cheated, unless you consider “Grand Theft Auto” when your character can go have sex with people.

DC: I think a lot of men see love and fooling around as two different concepts. And as long as they can keep those things apart, they don’t feel like they are betraying a trust. I’ve known guys who take the attitude of, “I don’t know what the big deal is. She doesn’t understand that it doesn’t mean anything.”

CQ: Basic immaturity and selfishness.

DC: I also think cheating men use these sexual conquests to validate themselves as attractive or desirable, and they actually need that kind of contact because they have such low self-esteem. Now, guys like us don’t need that.

CQ: I have cheeseburgers. If I want to indulge my low self-esteem, I’ll go hit a steak, not the chick at the corner store.

DC: Chris, we have a question from our readers.

CQ: We have readers?

DC: Well, actually I made this up. “So, why do men like porn and strip clubs? Why look at something you can’t have?”

CQ: That’s why. Because you can’t have it. You’re not supposed to have it. I’m a little ..... why are you asking me these things? (laughs) You know, when I was younger, like 18, 19, 30, I thought strip clubs were it. And you would just go and spend money and get boobs in your face. And around 25 or so, you start thinking, “What the hell are you doing? I’m spending loads of money on a mirage — on an image.” You start realizing how stupid you are thinking that you are going to have sex with these girls because it’s their job to shake their butt in front of your face for $6 a drink.

DC: I don’t know what the appeal is exactly. That being said, put me in the bathroom with a copy of Swank and Joyce Carol Oates’ new novel, and I’m going down with Swank every time.

CQ: I’ll go for the “Star Wars” novel.

DC: Over porn?

CQ: In the bathroom? Yeah, I mean in the bathroom, I don’t want to be bothered with boobs. I have business to attend to. And I would rather do my business with the Millennium Falcon.