So I was watching the “Naked Archeologist” the other day, waiting for someone to drop trow and start digging for old stuff, when it hit me. Jeez! This show is going to be just like the “Naked Chef” and “Naked Science.” A whole lot of whatever and no boobs or butts at all!

Liars. Did they think we would not notice?

But after having watched “America’s Got Talent” on NBC at 8 p.m. Tuesdays several times the past couple of weeks, it should be no surprise that a television show’s title is not always indicative of the show itself.

But who cares, “America’s Got Talent” is funny and a nice way to forget I just paid $60.32 to put gas in my car and later choked on a salmonella tomato.

We are at the point in our history when a heavy dose of distraction along with mindless consumption of gadgets is needed to keep us docile. 

If not that, well, at least we get to see David Hasselhoff on a weekly basis. Damn, I love that man, and here is why: youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2CfuqcUGE.

Nice, huh?

From weird chicks running band saws on metal plates strapped to their chests and 90-year-old tap dancers to scary Von Trapp family lookalike acts and gay cowboy dance troupes fluttering about, this show really knows how to keep its viewers totally oblivious and giddy for two hours.

I mean, despite there not being any display of talent that most of us would pay to see, the numbing humor of watching these morons, who in essence are all of us, get up there and bang around is great!
It should be called “Gong Show Returns,” or “Show Show.” I don’t know, something snappy. The point is, I usually would rather eat my own eyeballs than watch shows like “America’s Got Talent.” Yet, it still is kind of fun.

It’s an endless line of people dancing, singing, flipping around and twirling batons in hopes of winning a trip to Las Vegas to dance, sing, flip around and twirl batons.

Sure, we could do without all the cheesy, blatant mood music they attach to certain performers’ stories and stage exits, but without that music, how would we known what emotion to feel?

And maybe some drunk chimps would give a better performance and commentary than Jerry Springer, Sharon Osborne, Hasselhoff and that other guy. But then we would be more focused on the chimps than the show. And that would be wrong.