Military City, U.S.A.

No kidding.

I moved to San Antonio about a year and a half ago. There wasn’t much of a strong military presence when I was growing up in Midland, Texas, and going to college and living in Dallas.

When I told my friends I was moving here, the first thing they said (well, after threatening my life if I morphed into a Spurs fan) was, “Wow, there are a lot of bases there, right?”

Ya think??

Please don’t get me wrong, I strongly support our troops and hold a resolute respect for the courageous men and women in the armed forces.

But please, the next time you meet me and we go on a couple of dates and you start mentioning events in plurals and I start to really like you — please try not to move. Or get deployed. Or stationed elsewhere.

I’ve just had the worst luck.

And I’m such a sucker for a uniform (and by uniform, I mean any coordinated garb. Heck, you could be in a barbershop quartet).

San Antonio, I’m not complaining. I just wish I’d had basic training in these matters, that I’d been better equipped.

But seriously, in my roughly 15-month stint here I’ve encountered so many military men I feel like a recruiter. And the ones I’ve actually cared about — as a friend or more — have left or are leaving.

What’s worse is, I never KNOW they are. They trick me with that whole civilian clothing thing.

The first guy I met was in the Air Force. He never moved, but he just wasn’t all there. Actually, we can move on.

The next one was in the Army. We shared the same likes and dislikes, and we were both a little nerdy. I saw the potential in him to be one of my best friends. He taught me how to say his Korean name — but not how to say goodbye.

Then it was the Army again; he’s now in Iraq. Then when I finally got over that, I met another one in the Army Reserves, and within a month, he told me he was taking a government job in Atlanta. The latest letdown was my “Indian Justin Timberlake”; he was my dance partner and a fellow “X-Files” aficionado. Then when he FINALLY asked me on an official date, he told me he’s moving to Arkansas. Why? Because he’s in the AIR FORCE. And he’d known me for three months and never mentioned that little tidbit of information. I felt duped.

The powers that be must be getting a good laugh at my expense.

My friends advise that the next time a guy approaches me I should skip the small talk and stop him in his tracks to ask: Are you a member of any branch of the armed forces? And how long will you be in San Antonio?

Maybe that’ll save me some disappointment.

But on the bright side, I’ve got some new places to visit.