So you want your kid to be a star? Well, there’s your first problem. What’s that you say? It’s not you, but your kid who wants the bright lights of fame?

Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, if pursuing the fast-paced life of a model/actress/singer/TV newscaster is what you desire, you might want to consider giving your kid to Danny Bonaduce.

Seriously, his new show on VH1, “I Know My Kid’s a Star,” which airs Sunday nights, is just that — a bunch of parents passing on their neurotic baggage to their kids and entrenching in those kids an obsession that more than likely will leave them with a life like the show’s host.

Let’s think about kid stars: Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Bonaduce, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Dabney Coleman, wait, that’s not right. Gary. I meant Gary Coleman.

Mix that together, and you get one big monthly bill for antidepressants and Alcoholics Anonymous. Wait, AA is free. Well, I guess there is a silver lining in every situation, huh?

Come on! Why not have shows where kids compete to find out who would be an astronaut or Internet mogul or something interesting? Mixed martial arts, cooking show host or lion trainer.

Something! But Hollywood star? Who cares?

Still, it is kind of fun watching Partridge boy and his cast of Hollywood industry “experts” tiptoe around calling these kids crappy whenever a mom and her kid get eliminated.

The concept of the show and the pushy parents trying to live out their failed lives through their kids are almost as sick as the little-girl beauty pageants. At least these loser parents and Bonaduce are not sexualizing these kids.

But like most reality shows, this show tries to find the most combative set of individuals, stick them in a house and light the fuse.

I would really feel bad for these kids — having to watch their moms acting like kids while they fight for the superficial superiority of being the best mom of the best acting kid — but these kids are brats, too. Still, it’s kind of sad. You can actually see them becoming more and more like their failed moms each episode. Creepy.

But this parent trap is not exclusive to stardom. You could probably see the same thing on gymnastic floors and football fields across the country. Bad parents are bad parents regardless of the failed accomplishments they push on their kids.

I may bag on this show for its inherent selfish and self-centered trashiness, but at least it got Bonaduce to stop trying to kill himself on TV. So there’s that.

Well, I gotta go. I am taking my son to a “Star Wars” convention this week, and I have to find him a little Yoda costume or we can’t be entered into the running for the door prize.