By John Henrichs

Virtual border fence stops virtually no one
 
The government is scrapping a $20 million prototype of its highly touted “virtual fence” on the Arizona-Mexico border because the system is failing to adequately alert border patrol agents to illegal crossings. The 28-mile-long prototype is to be replaced with a series of towers equipped with communications systems, new cameras and new radar capability.

The 210 take: Who would have guessed that a non-existent fence would be non-effective?
 

In battle between sign and crane, sign wins
 
A crane demolishing a large sign on the South Side was upended after the crane operator miscalculated the sign’s weight, police said. The sign pulled the crane to the ground, tipping it sideways. Neither the crane operator nor anyone else was hurt, but drivers had to swerve to avoid the mess and some lanes of Southwest Military Drive for several hours.

The 210 take: Are you calling me fat?

Generals get new jobs, same old Iraq scenery
 
Army Gen. David Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, has been chosen to become chief of U.S. Central Command. Army Lt. Gen. Ray Odierno, commander of the Multinational Corps-Iraq — the No. 2 position in Iraq — is being nominated to fill Petraeus’ post. Odierno has been home from Iraq for only a couple of months but has agreed to return.

The 210 take: Upon hearing his new command would encompass Iraq, Afghanistan and the rest of the Middle East, including Iran, Petraeus said “Thanks?”
 

Penis thefts mean hard times in Congo
 
Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Purported victims claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

The 210 take: Did you know that “penes” is one of the plurals of “penis”? And that the leftover penne pasta in the fridge is suddenly much less appealing?
 

And we think airport traffic is bad in S.A.
 
A 73-year-old driver sped through a security gate at Miami International Airport and ended up on one of the main runways. The man was quickly detained, and no flights or landings were delayed. The airport is in the midst of upgrading its airside security from a wooden lift-up arm to a hydraulic system with barriers that pop up to stop any vehicle.

The 210 take: While no one was hurt, Miami pilots were annoyed that the man kept his left blinker on the entire time.

From staff and wire reports