WEDNESDAY | MARCH 12

‘SOUTH PARK' AND ‘TOP CHEF' SEASON PREMIERES
LOWDOWN: Two completely different shows that somehow appeal to somewhat similar audiences kick off their respective new seasons tonight. For “South Park,” this marks the 12th season that the little foul-mouthed misfits from Colorado will wreak havoc on their fellow South Park residents. For “Top Chef,” meanwhile, it will mark the fourth season that Chef Tom will wreak havoc on up-and-coming chefs.
WHEN: 9 p.m.
WHERE: Comedy Central (“South Park”); Bravo (“Top Chef”)
INFO: southpark.comedycentral.com; bravotv.com

THURSDAY | MARCH 13

INTERNATIONAL PRO WRESTLING ALLIANCE
Lowdown: Remember the Von Erichs? Check out Mark Von Erich take on IPWA champion Roy Fox in this event. Also, The Hooligans tag team against Chris Marval and Mil Máscaras' nephew Sicodélico Jr. And don't leave out the ladies: Claudia De-Solis throws down with Miss Diss-Lexia.
When: Doors open 6:30 p.m.; first match at 7:30 p.m.
Where: La Rancherita Nightclub, 445 Old Hwy. 90
How much: $8 adults; $5 kids
Info: Robert Garcia, (210) 316-2589; myspace.com/ipw_alliance

FRIDAY | MARCH 14

ROGER CREAGER
LOWDOWN: The Texas native and Texas A&M graduate brings his unique blend of Texas country to historic Gruene Hall tonight for a little St. Patrick's Day eve performance. No word yet on whether the bartender will jump the gun and spike all the Lone Star Light and Shiner Bock with green dye.
WHEN: 8 p.m.
WHERE: Gruene Hall, 1281 Gruene Road, New Braunfels
HOW MUCH: $20
INFO: (830) 606-1281; gruenehall.com

SATURDAY | MARCH 15

NILE
LOWDOWN: Nile's Wikipedia page defines the band as falling under the “brutal/technical death metal” genre. Needless to say, if you pinch one of these guys for not wearing green on St. Patrick's Day, you're sort of asking for any fate that befalls you.
WHEN: Doors at 7 p.m.
WHERE: The White Rabbit, 2410 N. St. Mary's St.
HOW MUCH: $15-$20
INFO: (210) 737-2221; sawhiterabbit.com

SUNDAY | MARCH 16

‘SELECTION SUNDAY'
LOWDOWN: Sixty-five teams are all hoping to get to the Final Four in San Antonio, and tonight, we'll learn the identity of those teams. Expect plenty of potential underdogs, overrated major conference teams and Dick Vitale droning on and on — as he always does — about the virtues of everything Duke basketball.
WHEN: 5 p.m.
WHERE: CBS
INFO: ncaasports.com

MONDAY | MARCH 17

SPRING BREAK CAMP
LOWDOWN: If you have a child between the ages of 7-11 who needs somewhere to stay while you work during Spring Break, the San Antonio Botanical Garden is here to help with a week-long camp that features hiking, bird-watching and gardening. And even if you're not working this Spring Break, isn't $175 a small price to pay for the sanity that a week without constant babysitting provides?
WHEN: 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily
WHERE: San Antonio Botanical Garden, 555 Funston
HOW MUCH: $175 per child
INFO: (210) 207-3250; sabot.org

TUESDAY | MARCH 18

SPRING BREAK ON THE BACK 40
LOWDOWN: Beginning today and running through March 21, Spring Break on the Back 40 showcases how the earliest frontier settlers celebrate their Spring Break (spoiler alert: they didn't go to the beach). Among the activities on the docket are the opportunity to begin your own spring garden and to wash clothes in a washtub. But won't my washing machine get lonely?
WHEN: 10 a.m.-2 p.m.
WHERE: Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 S. Bowie St.
HOW MUCH: $4-$7; free for members
INFO: (210) 458-2330; texancultures.com

MORE EVENTS

Wednesday, March 12

‘Alma de Mujer' Explore loss, love, struggle and spirituality through flamenco dancing. 8 p.m. Through March 16. Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe St. $10 in advance or $12 at the door. guadalupeculturalarts.org; (210) 271-3151

‘Boogie Back to Texas' Dust off those boots and bring the family out for a night of country classics and a Boot Scootin' Boogie dance and sing-along. 8:15 p.m. Friday and Saturday; 2:30 p.m. Sunday. Through March 23. Josephine Theater, 339 W. Josephine St. $20 for adults; discounts available for students, military, seniors and children. josephinetheatre.org; (210) 734-4646
Cavender Music Series continues with Two Tons of Steel Every Wednesday, bring down the house with some rocking live music. 7:30–10 p.m. The County Line, 10101 I-10 West. Free. countyline.com; (210) 641-1998

Doors Photo Exhibit An artistic look at doors. They're so much more than an entrance and exit. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Through May 11. Casa Navarro, 228 S. Laredo. $2. thc.state.tx.us, click on historic sites; (512) 463-6100

‘Feminine In Flux' Get in touch with your girly side at “Art in Persuasion: Feminine in Flux,” an exhibit of the work of select local female artists who explore issues of feminine identity in their work. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Exhibit runs through March 31. Central Public Library, 600 Soledad. sanantonio.gov/library; (210) 207-2500

Henry Cardenas' Art Exhibit Before catching an art house flick, peek at a collection of abstract Western landscapes. Noon-9 p.m. Through March 31. Bijou Art Gallery and Cinema Bistro, Crossroads Mall, 4552 Fredericksburg Road. Free. (210) 734-4552

Saltimbanco An exploration of urban hustle and bustle presented in the famous style of Cirque du Soleil. 7:30 p.m. Through March 16. AT&T Center. $41-$91. attcenter.com; ticketmaster.com; (210) 224-9600

Thursday, March 13

A night of Blues Love hurts, and Giles Whitsett will remind us when he performs a variety of blues, ballads and love songs. 7:30-10 p.m. March 13. Unity Church of San Antonio Community Center, 8103 Broadway. $5. unitychurchofsa.org/theater --blues.html; (210) 824-7351
S.A. Blue Cats jam at Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St. 8-11 p.m. March 13. Free. samsburgerjoint.com; sanantonioblues.com; (210) 223-2830
 
The Horrorpops, The Pink Spiders, Steve E Nix and the Cute Lepers make some noise at the White Rabbit, 2410 N. Saint Mary's. Doors at 7 p.m. $12-$15. sawhiterabbit.com; (210) 737-2221
The Pasties play a mix of folk and punk at the Cove, 606 W. Cypress. 8 p.m. $5. thecove.us; (210) 227-2683

Women's Personal Protection Seminar Professional trainers at Iron Shield Personal Family Services will teach women to defend themselves against violence and how to stop aggression. Registration required; limit 25 participants. 9-11 a.m. or 1-2 p.m. Morgan Gallery, St. Philip's College, 1801 Martin Luther King Drive. Free. E-mail registration to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ; (210) 531-3359

Friday, March 14

Jason Aldean in concert This country singer is easy on the ears and eyes. 7 p.m. Cowboy's Dance Hall, 3030 NE Loop 410 at I-35. $15-$30. Tickets available at cowboysdancehall.com; jasonaldean.com; (210) 646-9378

‘Journey's End' This drama follows the end of WWI and a soldier's place after duty. 8 p.m. Through April 11. Cellar Theater at San Pedro Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Place. Adults $23; discounts for seniors and military. sanpedroplayhouse.com; (210) 733-7258

Spoonfed Tribe plays at The Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary's St. 10 p.m. myspace.com/limelightsa; (210) 735-7775

‘The Case of the Neon Twins & Irish/Chicano' A multimedia detective story filled with secrets and intrigue set in 2068. 8 p.m. Through March 16. Jumpstart Theatre,1 08 Blue Star, Blue Star Arts Complex, S. Alamo and Probandt. $12; discounts for students, military and seniors. jump-start.org; (210) 227-5867

‘The Parable Man' The Company Theater presents this family-friendly show about the parables in the Bible done in the style of a one-man show. 7 p.m. Through March 16. Ruben's Cafe, 14357 Blanco Road. $15 for dinner and a show; $7.50 for show only. thecompanytheatre.org; (800) 838-3006

‘Unfurnished Room' An opening reception for various artists who sought inspiration from an unfurnished home. 6:30-10 p.m. Unit B Gallery, 500 Stieren at Cedar. Free. unitbgallery.com; (312) 375-1871

Saturday, March 15

Bowl for Equality Raise money, raise awareness for GLBT equal rights and raise your bowling score. 2 p.m. Bandera Bowl Funplex, 6700 Huebner Road. $35 per person; $150 for a team of five. hrc.org/SanAntonio Bowling; (210) 523-1716

‘Brilliantly Bernstein, Stunningly Sondheim' A production by the Alamo City Men's Chorale featuring dancers from San Antonio College and the Alamo City Ensemble Singers. 8 p.m. McAllister Auditorium, 1300 San Pedro. $20. brownpapertickets.com/ event/27255; (800) 838-5867

International Women's History Month An opening reception and an array of events celebrating women's artistic contributions as well as original pieces of art. 6 p.m. Through April 12. Mandala, 1701 Blanco. Free. mandala-online.com; (210) 347-5692

Kite Festival and Pooch Parade Enjoy the springtime weather with that special someone: Your dog. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. McAllister Park, 13102 Jones Maltsberger Road. Free. safriendsoftheparks.org; (210) 212-8423

Spring Break and Easter Celebration Stop and smell the flowers, enjoy a picnic or take advantage of the Easter Bunny photo ops at the Botanical Gardens. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. 555 Funston. Free. sabot.org; (210) 207-3250

‘Wouldn't It be Nice' Purchase arts and craft from various vendors while enjoying poetry readings and a drumming circle. All donations and earnings benefit San Antonio Independent Living Services (SAILS). 9 a.m.-11 p.m. MCasa Chiapas, 928 S Alamo. Free to public; donations encouraged. downsideUp.urber.com; (210) 224-2606

Eighth annual Del Webb car show An Armor All lover's dream come true: shiny cars aplently.10 a.m.-2 p.m. Hill Country Retreat Model Park, 4550 Del Webb Blvd. Free. southtexascc.com/ schedule.htm; (210) 246 6400

2008 Spring Chili Cook-off This event will also feature other delicacies such as beans and fajitas in addition to some live music. Judging starts at 3 p.m.; cooks set up at 9 a.m. The Hangin' Tree Saloon, 18424 W. 2nd St. in Bracken. Free; $10 per cooking entry. hangintree.com; (210) 651-5812

Sunday, March 16

‘Dancing with the Stars' Season Six Premiere It's back! Watch B-list stars shake their rumps back into the public eye. This season includes: Steve Guttenberg, Shannon Elizabeth and Priscilla Presley, among others. 8 p.m. ABC. ABC.com

Municipal Waste, Iron Lung, Engaged in Mutilating get hardcore at Rock Bottom Tattoo Bar, 1033 Avenue B, 7 p.m. $12. myspace.com/ rockbottom tattoobar; (210) 320-2387

‘Oprah's Big Give' As if giving her whole audience cars and opening a school in Africa wasn't enough, Oprah is putting her fans to the test. In true reality fashion, the contestant who gives the most wins a big chunk of cash and that warm fuzzy feeling on a nationwide scale. 9 p.m. ABC.
Ruby Dee & The Snakehandlers rock the patio at Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St. 6-8:30 p.m. MFree. samsburgerjoint.com; (210) 223-2830

St. Patrick's Day Parade Any excuse for a River Walk parade is fine with us! 1:15 p.m. Free. thesanantonio riverwalk.com; (210) 227-4262

Monday, March 17

Papa Wood rocks the St. Patty's Day celebration at Sherlock's Baker Street Pub, 16620 N. U.S. Hwy. 281. 6-9 p.m. $5. sherlockspubco.com; (210) 572-9307

Open Chapter, Travis Barker's Band, +44 and Drive take the stage at The Fyve, 226 Bitters. 6 p.m. $10 for 21 and up, $15 for minors. myspace.com/thefallssatx; (210) 490-5553.

‘Enchanted' DVD Release Put this DVD in the guilty-pleasures section of your collection. Who can resist a fairytale set in the modern age that mocks itself? Not us. Starring Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey. Rated PG. Prices vary at retailers.

Spurs take on the Boston Celtics A St. Patty's Day showdown worth watching. 7:30 p.m. AT&T Center, 1 AT&T Center Parkway. Tickets from $12-$90 per ticket. spurs.com; ticketmaster.com; (210) 244-9600

Tai Chi Center your mind and tone up your body. 6:30 p.m. every Monday. Pan American Library, 1122 W. Pyron. Free. sanantonio.gov/library/ events/; (210) 924-8164

Tuesday, March 18

The Anything Goes Air Guitar Spring Break Extravaganza Before ‘Guitar Hero' there was air guitar. Watch air-guitar pros hit a new level of awesome. 9:30 p.m. Club Atomix, 1902 McCullough. $3. kaozgoth.tripod.com; (210) 733-3855

Trivia Nite at the Flying Saucer Knock back a few and win a $50 prize for knowing all that useless information your teachers thought you'd never need. Play in teams or fly solo. 7:30 p.m. The Flying Saucer, 11255 Huebner Road at I-10. Free. beerknurd.com; (210) 696-5080

‘Women Leaders of Today and Tomorrow' Various young women who take part in the Studio4FM Girls Empowerment Program captured this collection of candid photographs of the professional women they shadow. 6-8 p.m. Through March 31. Carver Community Cultural Center, 226 N. Hackberry. Free. mswomenscenter.org; (210) 534-6638

Coming Up
 
March 19: Disney's High School Musical On Ice Not only is this modern-day ‘Grease' on television and the movies, now it's chilling on ice. At least these tickets are easier to get than for Hannah Montana. Showtimes vary. Through March 23. Alamodome, 100 Montana St. Tickets $14-$46. disney.go.com; (210) 224-9600