Many trees gave their lives to bring you this column. Well, actually, maybe only one tree took the dirt nap. Regardless, the point is at least we managed to kill one tree.

Now, before you go off all half-cocked about the tree comment, take a moment, compose yourself and then let loose full-cocked. If you're going to do a thing, do it with all your heart. Whether it's putting on your socks or setting me straight about my insensitivity toward our environment.

No, not “Setting It Straight,” setting me straight. “Setting It Straight” is a whole different matter and involves me filling out an idiot form. I know, I know. You are sick and tired of me using inside humor in these things. But it cuts both ways because I am sick and tired of you not getting these inside jokes. I mean, come on, put a little effort into our venture.

So let's just agree on two things: A) Life would've been so much easier if I just had the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier toy set growing up, and B) I never thought I would sit and watch a full hour TV program about logging.

“AXMen,” which recently premiered on the History Channel, is another occupation adventure reality show that delves into the life, industry and quirks of lumberjacks and logging.

And as much as you might think I might be, I am not secretly writing about the On Demand porno stations. Nope, every Sunday night at 9 p.m. on The History Channel, loggers strut their stuff.
 
The show is pretty interesting as it chronicles the uncensored daily routines of several logging companies in the wilds of the Oregon forests. They cut down trees, move trees, sell trees and repeat. All the while, they try not to get smashed by trees. Yet, I came away from the show disillusioned.

Not one damned logger was wearing flannel throughout the whole show. Not one!

How can I justify the ultimate goal of my life to this point when truths I held as a child keep getting proven wrong?

Think lumberjacks (or loggers, in the parlance of our PC times). What did you think of? That's right, big ol' bearded dudes in flannel, eating pancakes, carrying axes on their shoulders and wearing funny lopsided knit hats.

Not one ax or pancake. Just a bunch of crotchety dudes smoking up a storm, running around with missing fingers and shouting some of the most unique and poetic curse words at each other that I have ever heard.

Not too bad of a show if you go for that sort of thing — and I do. Now, the show was not as intense or sexy as “Deadliest Catch.” But, hey, in life, when you get thrown lumberjacks, eat some pancakes and don't regret that you did not get crabs instead.