Hey, baby, what's your sign?

It sounds like a bad pickup line from the '70s that didn't die with disco and bell bottoms.

Wait, those didn't totally die, did they?

Well, moving right along.

Astrological compatibility seems so démodé that it's new age and hip — and coming back with a vengeance. So many Web sites have long been devoted to love matches that are dictated, or at least influenced, by the stars.

There are quizzes testing everything from sexual chemistry to parenting. There are tips on how to attract and seduce the sign of your affection. And then, after you snag your crush, you can figure out which sexual positions each sign prefers.

If it ends up being true love, there are even sites to calculate when you should plan your wedding date based on your sign, your partner's sign and the position of the planets in the cosmos.

For some, zodiac charts are like the bible; they intensely study them and believe that compatibility is as simple as if someone is a water or fire sign. Or if the object of your affection's ruling planet is quadrant to yours (huh?).

A guy approached me at a bar a few nights ago, and the conversation was going surprisingly smoothly — surprisingly, because I'd had a tequila sunrise and about two shots (but who's counting?), which is not the time to try to converse with me; alcohol gives me social A.D.D. — and then he asked, “When is your birthday?”

At first, I was thinking that he didn't believe my age — it hasn't been too long ago that I was carded to see an R-rated movie. So I told him my birth date; he replied that he was a Sagittarius and didn't know much about Taurus, but that fire signs (his) and earth signs (mine) probably don't get along — but maybe we'd break that rule. 

Days afterward, another guy stopped me in the mall and unabashedly asked, “Are you a Virgo?” WTF.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems to be the newest pickup M.O. I blame global warming.

I've read about my sign, the Taurus. Many speculations concerning my demeanor and the way I approach life and certain situations are eerily right on; other hypotheses are way off.

Theoretically, I am most compatible with other earth signs and water signs, and generally not well-matched with air and fire signs, but the track record has proven otherwise.

So, single folks, it's time to add astrological astuteness to our cache of weapons to test attraction with a potential mate. Is the new cute girl at the office a Pisces? Better brush up on your knowledge of the arts or music, and don't be a show-off. Is that hot guy at the gym a Gemini? He likes to talk and the way to his heart is through his mind.

By the way, the Sagittarius called me the next day. But he's the hunter of the zodiac. So typical.