I'm going to start this by saying that my Thanksgiving holiday was wonderful and lacked any stress or potential drama.

Let me further add that the reason there was no stress or drama is because I didn't hang out with either “ex.” The first choice got too busy, and I'd ignored the back-up plan so badly I couldn't bring myself to call him back.

But before you pity me, look on the bright side: Now, I have two fewer soap-operatic stories to anguish over and no elusive hints to tease you with as to how the date went and where the date did or did not go.
So, moving right along.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with local relationship coach Michelle Vásquez to talk about being single for the holidays. I was a little timid at first: Though it was hardly a couch-reclining session in which I spilled my fear of commitment stemming from my parents' divorce, it wasn't exactly a private moment, either, as I mouthed tactfully prepared questions into a mike for a 210SA podcast.

Listen to a podcast of Single File Columnist Jaundréa Clay going one-on-one with relationship coach Michelle Vasquez. Special thanks to Kevin McLeod from incompetech.com for intro, exit music.

Though suspensefully short, I found the session very insightful. Vásquez laid it all out there: the depression, loneliness and/or inadequacy many single folks feel as the Yuletide rolls in and tips on shaking the mistletoe blues; how to divert those dreaded questions from family; and how society influences us into thinking there's something inherently wrong with us if we're not roasting chestnuts over flames of love.

The piece of advice that stood out for me was this: Act like you're in love. In other words, if you've already got it, flaunt it. But if you're single and maybe looking to get it, fake it.

Vásquez said that it's been proven that we are more attractive when we're in love. We become the life of the party. We smile more. We laugh more. We're less insecure and uptight.

Personally, I don't think we needed anyone to do a scientific analysis on that one. I'm sure this scenario has played out for many of you: The moment you're happily involved with someone or in a relationship is when that cute guy or gal you've been crushing on for like a year decides to give you the time of day. Well, now you can blame science instead of your bad luck for that one.

After talking to Vásquez, I actually became more excited about the holidays' arrival. I survived the unexpected introspection about my own shortcomings, needs, expectations and goals and came out the better. I realized I'm a little stubborn, a little picky, a little idealistic, a little fickle — but that most of all, I'm happy. And that's OK.

Now, coordinating her priceless jewels of advice with my holiday party gear, I'm ready to take on the season, one Christmas carol and glass of bubbly at a time.