Courtesy

Lisa Lampanelli has become pigeonholed as an insult comic, but she doesn't particularly mind the distinction. After all, when starting out on the stand-up comedy circuit, Lampanelli was the one who branded herself with the label to gain some exposure. Since then, she's risen to fame by brutally skewering celebrities such as Pamela Anderson and William Shatner during Comedy Central's many celebrity “roasts.”

Now, Lampanelli is taking her show on the road, which includes a stop at the Empire Theatre on Friday, Dec. 7. Lampanelli talked about what to expect at the show and roasted a few more people along the way in a rather spirited chat with 210SA. But be warned, she didn't hold back on anything.
 

I gave that s**t to myself ..... I had no pride in saying I was a comedian, but I got a lot of it from calling myself an insult comic. But you can't do this type of (insult) s**t if you mean any of it. I'll call black people the “N” word and not mean it, but others might (get into trouble) because it has hate in it. It's all about the intention. Audiences aren't stupid.

What are some of the topics you'll tackle in San Antonio?

Racial stuff, sexual orientation, old, fat, bald, gay, black. If you're a person, come to the show because I'm not afraid of anybody. If you're not making fun of somebody, you're leaving them out. That's the worst kind of prejudice.

You kind of hit it big doing the Comedy Central roasts. Which did you enjoy the most?

The most fun to watch was Flava Flav because everybody did pretty well. Even Carrot Top did OK. During the Pam Anderson roast and the (William) Shatner roast, there was always somebody who bombed badly. We as comics say we hate everybody, but we want everyone to do well. Seeing somebody bomb, you feel for them ..... Especially with Pam, because Courtney Love was acting like an a**hole the whole time, (and she was a miserable) throughout the entire three hours.

You've mentioned your distaste for soccer moms in the past. What about them bothers you so much?

Not all of them do. Right now, I have “Shut Up and Sing” (the Dixie Chicks documentary) on, and they had me until they showed them at home with their kids. I don't know what bugs me more — the fact that (they) have it all, that they have hot husbands or the f**king kids.

You make a lot of references to dating black men. Do most people get the joke when you mention race?

Now that my shrink has made me expand my reach and said I was racist because I only dated blacks, I've got to date Whitey, too. I shouldn't have to find everybody attractive ..... Right now, I'm going through a period of celibacy, me figuring out what I want because I keep attracting unemployed losers.

In the past, why did you shy away from dating white guys?

Now, I could get a good-looking white guy because I'm famous and rich, but I couldn't get a hot one growing up ..... I could get a hot black guy or a mediocre white guy. I could have had either LL Cool J or Jared from Subway.

Before you got into comedy, you were actually a music writer. What were some of the worst interviews you ever did?

Most of the bands were ones for heavy metal magazines when I was doing freelance — the Bon Jovis and Slaughters and Ratts, every bad metal band.

One subject you don't discuss in your comedy is politics. Why not?

I don't read the paper because I could give a f**k. If it doesn't involve me directly, I don't care. I'm watching this Dixie Chicks (documentary) because I think freedom of speech is interesting. Plus, they have cute hair.

Of all the major celebrities out there today that you haven't roasted, which would you most enjoy insulting?

I've always hated Rosie (O'Donnell) because she didn't come out of the closet until she became a billionaire. That was really brave.

CLINT HALE | 210SA