Researchers wonder, who's got the clap?

Sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise federal health officials said in their latest report. Nearly 1,031,000 cases of Chlamydia were reported last year – the most cases of an STD ever reported. Meanwhile, gonorrhea rates jumped after hitting a record low, and syphilis was on the rise for the first time in 15 years.

The 210 take: When told of the high STD rates, Paris Hilton packed up her bags, walked outside to her waiting alien spaceship and took off, saying “My job here is done.”

Dinosaur kept its head to the ground

Scientists have discovered the bones of the “cow of the Mesozoic,” a strange dinosaur with rows of tiny teeth crammed into the very front of its jaws and fragile air-filled bones. The researchers said that the dinosaur, Nigersaurus taqueti, had an unusually short neck and a habitual head posture pointed directly toward the ground. Unlike the more common long-necked species, this was a ground-level browser like modern bovines.

The 210 take: What do you want to bet the “cow of the Mesozoic” still tasted like chicken?

Deaths in Iraq decline to lowest in months

Attacks have fallen 55 percent since nearly 30,000 additional U.S. reinforcements arrived in Iraq by June, according to the U.S. military. Some areas are at their lowest levels of violence since the summer of 2005, with Iraqi civilian casualties down 60 percent across the country. Officials also noted a three-month decline in the use of explosively formed penetrators (EFPs) and other Iranian made weapons.

The 210 take: A flight-suit clad President Bush touted the news in front of a slightly used “Mission Accomplished” banner.

Pilot hornswoggled by wonky doodads

The cleanup has finally tapered off after a freighter struck the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge in heavy fog on Nov. 7, spilling 58,000 gallons of sludge-like bunker fuel into the bay. Pilot John Cota has said the ship's state-of-the-art electronic charting instruments seemed out of whack and they are emerging as focal points as the National Transportation Safety Board examines what caused the collision.

The 210 take: And by “instruments” we mean bottles of vodka.

Texas math textbooks aren't adding up

Sample copies of Texas elementary math textbooks for next fall contain more than 109,000 factual errors. One second-grade math book, for example, has 4 plus 7 equaling 10. Publishers have been ordered to fix the mistakes and can be fined up to $5,000 for every error that makes it into the final editions of books shipped to Texas schools.

The 210 take: The publisher vowed to fix the mistakes, noting that at $5,000 a pop for the 109,000 mistakes, the fines could total $17,312.07.

From staff and wire reports