Wednesday | Nov. 21

TURKEY OF THE YEAR
Lowdown: No work tomorrow! Spend your hump-day night of freedom out on the bar scene picking up some special holiday glassware, more specifically a “Turkey of the Year” glass that, uh, honors disgraced football player and alleged dog-fighting kingpin Michael Vick. It's a family heirloom piece you can be proud to show to Grandma.
When: 7 p.m.
Where: The Flying Saucer, 11255 Huebner Road
How much: $7-$8 per glass (includes beer)
Info: (210) 696-5080; beerknurd.com

WADE BOWEN
Lowdown: Apparently, Bowen (pictured) didn't feel like venturing far from home the night before Thanksgiving, as the New Braunfels-based singer/songwriter is playing a Thanksgiving eve show in, you guessed it, New Braunfels.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Gruene Hall, 1281 Gruene Road, New Braunfels
How much: $10
Info: (830) 606-1281; gruenehall.com

‘HITMAN'
Lowdown: 'Cause nothing gets you in the spirit to spend time with your family like an R-rated flick about an assassin. Die, cranberry sauce, die!
When: Opens when theaters unlock the doors
Where: See movie listings
Info: hitmanmovie.com

Thursday | Nov. 22

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE
Lowdown: Maybe this will be the year that Snoopy finally snaps and gives that worthless Garfield balloon the ass-whoopin' it has been begging for. We can only hope.
When: 8-11 a.m.
Where: NBC
Info: macys.com/campaign/ parade/parade.jsp

‘THANKSGIVING THROWDOWN'
Lowdown: Eight bands bring the noise on Thanksgiving night. Think of this as a way to channel some of that holiday aggression from too much turkey and too much family.
When: Doors at 8 p.m.
Where: The White Rabbit, 2410 N. St. Mary's St.
How much: $10-$12
Info: (210) 737-2221; sawhiterabbit.com

Friday | Nov. 23

MERCADO DE PAZ
Lowdown: Unless you've got access to a large quantity of anti-anxiety drugs, skip the mall. Instead, blow your hard-earned cash at the 18th annual Mercado de Paz/Peacemarket, which offers folk art from 80 vendors. Grab Mom something unique for the holidays — and get yourself some homemade tamales and peace of mind.
When: 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 23 and 24
Where: Esperanza Center, 922 San Pedro
How much: Free
Info: (210) 228-0201; esperanzacenter.org

ALAMO PLAZA TREE LIGHTING
Lowdown: Yes, it will be crowded. Yes, there will be no parking. Yes, you will ask yourself 50 times why on earth you decided to go. But when all the face-painting and live music ends, and Santa steps forward to light the 50-foot tree at the H-E-B Tree Lighting Celebration in Alamo Plaza ..... you'll be really glad you're there.
When: Kids activities and live music begin at 3:30 p.m. Santa lights the tree at 6:20 p.m.
Where: Alamo Plaza
How much: Free
Info: (210) 223-2772 ext. 128

TERRI HENDRIX
Lowdown: Fully up-to-date on Grandma's latest bunion surgery and already sick of Uncle Jack's onion breath? Go to your happy place with a night of live music. Terri Hendrix performs the Annual Thanksgiving Holiday Show — 'cause you're not the only one who needs to get away. Adam Carroll opens.
When: 9 p.m.
Where: Floore's Country Store, 14492 Old Bandera Road
How much: $12 advance; $15 at the door
Info: (210) 695-8827; liveatfloores.com

STATE FARM LONE STAR SHOWDOWN: TEXAS AT TEXAS A&M
Lowdown: Dennis Franchione, the bell tolls for thee.
When: 2:30 p.m.
Where: ABC
Info: aggieathletics.com; texassports.com (depending on your allegiance)

Saturday | Nov. 24

GIRL IN A COMA, THE OFFBEATS, THE MORIARTYS AND SAVIOR DAUGHTERS
Lowdown: Fresh off a round of gigs as Morissey's opening act, Girl in a Coma headlines a five-band, all-ages show at one of San Antonio's finest music staples. Would it be too cheeky to ask for an autograph at this point?
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St.
How much: $8 all ages
Info: (210) 223-2830; samsburgerjoint.com; girlinacoma.com; myspace.com/offbeats; myspace.com/themoriartys; myspace.com/saviordaughters

DERTYBIRD
Lowdown: Some of your in-laws and relatives can't take a hint that family time is over, and you can't take it anymore. Southern rock and blues tunes are just what the doctor orders to soothe your soul. May we suggest Austin band Dertybird.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Luna, 6740 San Pedro Ave.
How much: $5-$7
Info: lunalive.com or myspace.com/lunalive

Sunday | Nov. 25

‘THE GENERAL'
Lowdown: Eschew the lines at the movie theaters this weekend and get your cinema fix at a showing of Buster Keaton's “The General,” backed by live organ music from a 1931 Mighty Wurlitzer organ console. A classic of the silent era, the show is big on slapstick comedy.
When: 5:30 p.m.
Where: The Aztec Theatre, 201 E. Commerce St.
How much: $12 in advance; $15 at the door
Info: (210) 227-3930 ext. 401; aztecontheriver.com

PAUL VAN DYK
Lowdown: It's club night at the country bar. German DJ and techno-master Paul Van Dyk gets the place bumpin' at one of 24 stops on his In Between album tour. Not a bad way to work off that extra slice of pumpkin pie.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Cowboys Dancehall, 3030 N.E. Loop 410
How much: $25-$60
Info: (210) 224-9600; ticketmaster.com

MARIACHI EXTRAVAGANZA
Lowdown: Q.: How many mariachis does it take to make up one of the largest gatherings of mariachi musicians in the nation? A.: Find out at Mariachi Extravaganza, a weeklong mariachi fest filled with art exhibits, concerts and, of course, the official music of S.A. The festivities end with a big concert at Municipal Auditorium.
When: Opening Mass is noon, Nov. 25; times for other events vary throughout the week
Where: Mass is at Mission San José, 6710 San Jose Drive; locations for other events vary
How much: All events are free except for the group and vocal competitions: $5 admission is good for both competitions; and the finale concert: $20-$100
Info: For a complete schedule of events, go to mariachimusic.com; tickets to the group and vocal competitions are available by calling (210) 225-3353; tickets to the finale concert are available through Ticketmaster, (210) 224-9600; ticketmaster.com

Monday | Nov. 26

TORI AMOS
Lowdown: Singer-songwriter Tori Amos helped you through your high school breakup and your college doldrums with hits such as “Silent All These Years” and “Crucify.” Help a chick out and go to her live show, why don't you?
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St.
How much: $38
Info: (210) 224-9600; ticketmaster.com; majesticempire.com

Tuesday | Nov. 27

TAMALADA
Lowdown: Instead of waiting in line to score fresh homemade tamales this holiday season, learn to make your own. Gather up friends and family and learn about the history of one of San Antonio's most savory traditions at a tamal-making workshop. Enrollment caps at 20, so gather up your friends with culinary skills now. (Making mac and cheese from the box does not count.)
When: 6-9 p.m. Nov. 27; 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Dec. 8 and Dec. 15
Where: Witte Museum, 3801 Broadway
How much: $35
Info: (210) 357-1900 wittemuseum.org

‘DANCING WITH THE STARS'
Lowdown: Will Scary Spice samba her way to the gold? Or will our favorite former “90210” girl waltz away with the crown? These — and other pressing questions (Will the Osmond chick collapse again? OMG! What are they wearing?) — will be answered when the remaining contestants face off in the Season Five finale.
When: 7 p.m.
Where: ABC
Info: abc.com