Wednesday | Nov. 14

‘THIS IS SPINAL TAP'
Lowdown: It probably won't be as funny as the time you smoked that “cigarette” and watched it with your roommate in college, but this cult classic film about a fake rock band is still a riot. And if you happen to have the munchies, this is the place. Mmmm. Movie theater nachos.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: The Bijou, Crossroads, 4522 Fredericksburg
How much: $5
Info: santikos.com

‘PROJECT RUNWAY'
Lowdown: You're back, oh mighty sultans of the scissors. Strip us, dress us and make us chic! Fifteen newbies compete to not hear Heidi tell them “Auf Wiedersehen” when the fourth season of this reality fashion design show returns.
When: 9 p.m.
Where: Bravo
Info: bravotv.com/ Project_Runway

‘VEINTE ARISTAS'
Lowdown: Twenty artists, one purpose: To knock your snooty artistic socks off. It's a show about social justice, featuring some of the artists from the Esperanza Center's 20-year history.
When: 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri. through Nov. 16
Where: Esperanza Center, 922 San Pedro Ave.
How much: Free
Info: (210) 228-0201 or esperanzacenter.org

Thursday | Nov. 15

‘A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM'
Lowdown: We know you only read the Cliffs Notes version back in high school. But now you can see it for free (if you're in college anyway). Hey, it stars an ass named “Bottom.” Comedy Central fans, this is Shakespeare done your way.
When: 8 p.m. Nov. 15, 16 and 17; 3 p.m. Nov. 18
Where: Thirty Auditorium, Our Lady of the Lake University, 411 S.W. 24th St.
How much: Free for college and high school students with ID; otherwise, $8
Info: (210) 434-6711, ext. 2146 or This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Reservations encouraged.

CLAY WALKER
Lowdown: He's country's “man in the black hat.” Not to mention the tight black jeans. And the ladies are all good with that. This show is part of the Honoring Our Heroes Tour, and all ticket proceeds will benefit the Military Warriors Support Foundation.
When: 8:30 p.m.
Where: AT&T Center
How much: $20-$40
Info: (210) 224-9600 or ticketmaster.com

Friday | Nov. 16

‘ILL COMMUNICATION'
Lowdown: This event, part of a two-day affair taking place at various locales throughout San Antonio, will feature a number of acts, including Lotus Tribe, DJ Mexican Stepgrandfather and Los Almas Intocables.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Ruta Maya Riverwalk Coffee House, 107 E. Martin St.
How much: Free, though donations are accepted.
Info: (210) 223-6292 or rutamayariverwalk.com

‘HISTORIAS Y RECUERDOS'
Lowdown: The Guadalupe Dance Company presents San Antonio stories told through original choreography and incorporates traditional Mexican dance and music. A video projection of community members recounting stories serves as a backdrop. Think of the event kind of like San Antonio's own “West Side Story.” Except nobody's ready to rumble.
When: 8 p.m. Nov. 16-17; 3 p.m. Nov. 18
Where: Guadalupe Theater, 1300 Guadalupe St.
How much: $10 in advance; $12 at the door
Info: (210) 271-3151 or guadalupeculturalarts.org

ANNUAL ZONARTE% EL MERCADO DE AZTLAN
Lowdown: Do you know folks who've been nice this year? Start ticking their names off your holiday gift list at the last day of this so-called “fine-arts and fine-crafts” market featuring the works of local artists. Centro Cultural Aztlan presents this event of handmade, one-of-a-kind gifties. In other words: furniture, paintings, fiber arts and folk-art. No potpourri jars or lace doilies here, grandma.
When: 6-10 p.m. Nov. 16; 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 17; 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Nov. 18
Where: Galeria Expresión,
Centro Cultural Aztlan, 1800 Fredericksburg Road
How much: Free
Info: (210) 432-1896

MATT MCCORMICK AND THE ROCK BOTTOM CHOIR
Lowdown: Austin-based band of musicmen (and women) performs in support of the San Antonio Food Bank. All proceeds go to the Food Bank, and every dollar you donate works out to 2.5 meals for the homeless. Look at it as both a holiday good deed and a chance to get your groove on.
When: 7 p.m.
Where: Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson
How much: Five cans of food or five bucks. Your call.
Info: (210) 228-2830 or samsburgerjoint.com

Saturday | Nov. 17

‘LIGHT THE WAY'
Lowdown: Nope, it's not Christmas yet. But don't tell the Catholics. University of the Incarnate Word sets the sky alight with “Light the Way,” its annual holiday decoration extravaganza that features 1 million lights on the college campus. Now if only those lights would shine on available parking places.
When: 7:30 p.m. opening ceremonies. A pre-event mass will be held at 5:30 p.m. in the campus' Our Lady's Chapel. The campus will be lit up nightly through Jan. 6.
Where: McDermott Convocation Center, UIW, 4301 Broadway
How much: Free. New, unwrapped toys are accepted for the Elf Louise toy drive.
Info: (210) 829-6001 or uiw.edu

MIGHTY MAVERICK BAND AUTO SHOW
Lowdown: Sure, it offers prizes for engine sound, best interior and more in all the usual car, truck, street rod, motorcycle and muscle car categories. But what makes this auto show stand out in our mind? The “police pick” category: Most Likely to Chase. Now that will give you street cred. Proceeds benefit the Madison marching band.
When: 8 a.m.-4 p.m.
Where: Madison High School, 5005 Stahl Road
How much: $20 to enter your ride. Free admission.
Info: (210) 573-5107 or carshow@madisonband boosters.org

PARIS BENNETT
Lowdown: The former “American Idol” contestant's debut only peaked at No. 133 on the Billboard Top 200 chart, so if you're not going to buy the album, can't you at least check out her live show?
When: Meet and greet at 11 p.m., show at midnight
Where: The Bonham Exchange, %411 Bonham
How much: $5-$10, no cover for 21 and up before 10 p.m.
Info: (210) 224-9219 or bonhamexchange.net

MUSIC FOR SOLDIERS
Lowdown: This event, which features musicians Hayden Vitara and the McKay Brothers, benefits the Dive Pirates Foundation, which provides scuba-diving instruction to wounded veterans. There will also be door prizes and a silent auction.
When: 2-7 p.m.
Where: Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St.
How much: $10
Info: (210) 223-2830 or samsburgerjoint.com

Sunday | Nov. 18

PUERTO RICAN FESTIVAL
Lowdown: Put on your red, white and blue (convenient, huh?) for this celebration of our almost-state. Music from DJ Papote, DJ Arocho, Yanius and the Chokolate Orchestra among others make this a groovin' night.
When: Noon-7 p.m.
Where: Semeneya Ballroom, %2899 N.E. LOOP 410 at Perrin Beitel
How much: $7
Info: (210) 846-9525 or saballroom.com

Monday | Nov. 19

‘THREE POINTS OF VIEW'
Lowdown: Feel like a brain-freeze? Get one from the ice cream or the art this month. Pick up your double-licious cone of Rocky Road and gobble up some culture at the “Three Points of View” painting exhibit featuring the works of artists Donna Bland, Susan Carlin and Kim Roberti.
When: Through Nov. 30
Where: Justin's On Main, 2512 N. Main
How much: Free
Info: (210) 885-8549

Tuesday | Nov. 20

‘LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD' DVD
Lowdown: Aging super cop John McClane takes on the bad guys yet again, this time an Internet terrorism group. My, how times have changed since the first “Die Hard” in 1988, when all McClane had to do to thwart terrorism was throw the bad guy off a roof.
How much: $10-$30
Info: livefreeordiehard.com

DINNER AND A GAME
Lowdown: Chow down on chicken fried steak, and brush up on your gaming skills. Entertainer Joe Libby leads the crowd in group endeavors such as charades and Simon Says, while you drink your beer and avoid making eye contact. Or, embrace your inner kid and get into the swing of things with community games like Blue Cactus Bingo and Chalk-it-Up on the patio.
When: 6-8 p.m.
Where: Blue Cactus Café, 13525 Wetmore Road
How much: Free
Info: (210) 355-0587.% Reservations recommended.