As some presidential candidates gear up in the race for the White House, others have yet to get out of first gear.

Despite that, 210SA is going to dedicate some space to them, even if it's mostly just to poke fun at them.

THE DEMOCRATS

JOE BIDEN

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Biden has a knack for verbal gaffes, as evidenced by his referring to Barack Obama as “an African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Note to prospective candidates: Referring to a particular minority as “bright and clean” signifies you believe not everyone in that particular race/ethnicity to be so.

MIKE GRAVEL

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Gravel is a former Alaskan senator, a fact to which many potential voters might respond, “Wait, Alaska has a senator?”

DENNIS KUCINICH

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Kucinich has vowed to bring troops home from Iraq, decriminalize marijuana and legalize same-sex marriage. Unfortunately, to many Americans, the war in Iraq isn't nearly as alarming as two dudes getting married, then celebrating their union by smoking a fatty.
 
THE REPUBLICANS

DUNCAN HUNTER

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Of his campaign, Hunter has said: “We don't have a jet or an army of consultants and paid staff.” Don't you kinda need those things to get elected?

RON PAUL

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Paul has kept in line with his conservative brethren on issues such as abortion (he's not a fan), same-sex marriage (also not a fan) and the construction of a 700-mile fence along the Mexican border (he's for it). Paul, however, voted against the Iraq war. To many Republicans, that apparently makes him some sort of extremist yahoo.

TOM TANCREDO

WHY HE HAS NO CHANCE: Tancredo is a proponent of the Mexican border fence. He voted for the Iraq war. He's pro-life and against same-sex marriage. Honestly, as a Republican, we're not sure why he's not getting more run. Maybe it's the Paulie “Walnuts” Gaultieri hair (you know, from “The Sopranos”?).