For San Antonians who enjoy being scared out of their wits, Halloween and its endless array of slasher flicks, haunted houses, gross-out costumes and other forms of cheap thrillery often suffice. Halloween, however, is but one day, meaning those in need of a good scare must typically look elsewhere.

The weekend before Halloween is coming up. You could go the same old party or see a band like any other Saturday night of the year, you lame-o. Or you could check out some of the cooler stuff happening:

AT&T CENTER STAIRS
THE 210 TAKE: Walking to an upper-level seat at a Spurs/Rampage/Silver Stars game isn't so much a stroll, but a hike. By the time you've completed the steep climb to your nosebleed seat — if you're lucky enough to reach the top — you've lost a few sips worth of beer from your souvenir cup and, more than likely, at least one food item. Considering it's the AT&T Center, that's like $25 worth of wasted concessions.

CLUBGOING ROACH COACHES
THE 210 TAKE: You just spent all night dancing at the club and are far too tired to drive around in search of a late-night bite. Never fear, the meal-mobile is sure to be serving up something nice and greasy at 2 a.m. in the club parking lot. OK, maybe it isn't nice, but it is greasy and edible, sort of. Just keep in mind, when you're chowing down, not to dwell on how they came to be called roach coaches in the first place.

JOE BLUE'S DURING GAY PRIDE WEEK
THE 210 TAKE: Or as it will likely be referred to in the future, the week Joe Blue's “closes for renovation.”

THE KIDDIE PARK ON BROADWAY
THE 210 TAKE: By all accounts, the Kiddie Park — founded in 1925 — is an exceptional source of entertainment. Nevertheless, we can't help but be a bit frightened by the sight of its clunky-looking roller coaster, Ferris wheel and “1918 Carousel,” which might very well have been named for the year in which it was assembled.

NORTH STAR MALL ON EASTER WEEKEND
THE 210 TAKE: An international melting pot of shoppers converges upon a Catholic-heavy city on a religious holiday weekend. Language barriers result. Denominational lines are drawn. There's overcrowding. No parking. Children going apes**t over a grown man dressed like a rabbit. Trembling in fear yet?

OUR IMAGE IN THE EYES OF AMERICA
THE 210 TAKE: Men's Health magazine named us the second-fattest city in America. Of the top 25 urban destinations for American tourists, travelandleisure.com ranked Alamo City residents 22nd in attractiveness, 22nd in gay friendliness and dead last in stylishness. But, hey, at least we were ranked No. 1 in something — Intuit Inc.'s list of America's stingiest cities in regards to charitable donations. Oh, wait, that's a bad thing.

RIVER WALK WATER
THE 210 TAKE: We aren't prone to agreeing with Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, particularly in his belief that Dirk Nowitzki is a franchise player. But when Cuban in 2006 referred to the River Walk as an “ugly-ass, muddy-watered thing,” he wasn't entirely incorrect. Now, before you begin throwing stones at us for insulting a San Antonio landmark, ask yourself this: If given the opportunity, would you teach your kid to swim in that water?

ROSEDALE PARK AFTER DARK
THE 210 TAKE: This area, which police cite for its gang violence, even has its own gang — Rosedale Park Kings. That wouldn't be so bad if this were some sort of after-school special where good eventually prevails over evil and everyone learns to get along. Unfortunately, this is real life, where gang violence persists and innocent people sometimes end up caught in the crosshairs. At the park, no less.

TRAFFIC ON ANY MAJOR HIGHWAY
THE 210 TAKE: Want to see your life flash before your eyes, without the long-term side effects of LSD? Try entering the I-35 North ramp from Loop 1604 North, or Loop 410 East from the frontage road on 281 North, or ..... well, pretty much any interchange involving 410 and I-10 and their multitude of construction, due for completion some time before 2037.

THE WHITE RABBIT ON METAL NIGHT
THE 210 TAKE: Eleven bands, $10 cover, 39 fans in attendance and enough black garb and man-scara to make Marilyn Manson jealous. It must be metal night at the Rabbit, which rolls around every few weeks or so. Not that you need a calendar to mark the occasion. Just be on the lookout for residents of the area. If they're hiding inside the confines of their homes, you should be, too.
 
clint Hale | 210SA