Joaquin Herrera

It was only a few years ago that a friend and I went down to the Metropolitan Health District to get an HIV test.

We had gotten tested a few times before together but this time felt different. As he went in to get his blood test, I went in for mine. I was asked the same questions:

“How many sexual partners have you had?”

Two. Three. Ummm. Wait. Four. I think.

“Did you use protection?”

Yes. Definitely. Maybe .....
 
“Do you use condoms for oral sex?”

“When was the last time you were tested?”

The uncomfortable questions kept coming, and my answers said things about me that I didn't realize about myself. There were plenty of times I told my friends to play safe. And now, when it was my turn to fess up, I was not living by the words I spoke. I was NOT safe.

Back then, they drew blood, and you would have to wait a week to get your results. It was torture.

The worst thoughts ran through my head as the days passed. How would I react to the news if I tested positive?

Would I ever date again? Would anyone love me if I were positive? Would I fight it? Could I fight it?

The same questions that many of you, I know, secretly ask yourselves after the fact.

The truth is we're a generation that thinks we're invincible. AIDS was an epidemic before our time.

People died back then. People don't die now. They survive.

Back then, I didn't think the disease would ever affect my life. I didn't realize the harm I was causing myself by not thinking before I acted. It's what many of my friends did as well. You're young and living in the now. You don't stop to think. You don't realize that it can hit you head on and really hard.

And that's exactly what happened to me.

I went back to the Metropolitan Health District to get my results a week later. As I walked into the counselor's office, I prayed to myself for the best. I took a deep breath as she handed me the results.

Negative.

I was negative. Whew. Passed again.

As I left the office, I felt good about the whole thing. This time I was going to be better and not put myself at risk ever again. This was going to be my turning point.

I had a new path that I was going to take, and I was excited about the journey.

A few days later, I went over to my friend's apartment to tell him the good news.

As I walked in, his face said it all. He looked at me with worry and regret in his eyes and said, “So you got your results back?”

“Yes. And you did, too?”

“Yes.”

I knew what he was going to say, and I felt my throat fall to the pit of my stomach.

His prayer wasn't answered.

He was positive.

As I sat next to him, the person I was closest to for the past three years, I realized how quickly our lives had changed.

That new journey I was going to take quickly made another detour.

Almost four years later, I'm still on that journey.

Learning more, growing more and encouraging the same in my friends.

I learn my status now every year, whether I have a new partner or not. The San Antonio AIDS Foundation is a great place to get tested or to find resources. The tests now are much more convenient and no longer require the long wait. A swab inside your cheek and 20 minutes of your time is all you need.

Know your status and stay protected.

And the message to my fellow free spirits: Check your path. Because you never know when life will take you on a detour.