How I got into my current situation is something I am not fully aware of and probably not something I'll be too proud about, either.

I came to a little over an hour ago around the scattered and destroyed remains of my backyard fence.

I could remember very little, but the pain in my head, back and legs was very telling. Though not as telling as the stunned and near-dead body of a feral hog lying next to me.

All very confusing, but explainable. But first, let's talk about “Heroes!”

Because, baby, on Monday, Sept. 24, “Heroes” Season Two kicks off and continues the journey it started us on last year.

Tim Kring, there's nothing I can say to thank you for this show that made it clear that fat geeks and spindly nerds who've spent their lives in comic books are more than a bunch of dorks. More than just a 20-sided die, more than our college thesis on “Lost” connections and more than oversized special-order pants.

See, it's finally happened. The great, unwashed mass now realizes what dorks like me have known for years. That at any moment, an unsuspected outbreak of superhuman powers can manifest itself into the human species.

“Heroes” is fictional; I understand that, but the potential for it to one day be seen as the documentary that changed the world is clearly evident.

Laugh if you will, but geeks are everywhere. Even the next possible prime minister of Japan says he's a freak for Manga. We're taking the world from the beautiful people.

Back to “Heroes.” After many long months, we will finally know when the hell Hiro is. Is Nathan Petrelli really dead? Are Niki's powers as unique and potent as they seem, or does she just need about 40 milligrams of Lexapro a month? Will we find out what the recurring visual references to an eclipse mean? And, finally, what the heck good is Mohinder?

One of these questions I can answer for you now. Nathan is not dead. Simply because no one in comic books ever truly dies. It just does not happen. They always come back. Take Captain America's death, for instance. A true dirt nap or just a Skrull? We'll have to wait and see.

As for the rest, I am salivating in anticipation. One tidbit I'm extremely excited about is that the character of Takezo Kensei, whose sword Hiro was chasing after all first season, will be in the new season.

As for my situation? Look, let's just say, for legal reasons and such, that jetpacks made from bottle rockets, gasoline and raggedy Members Only jackets are never a good idea. And the hog? Your guess is as good as mine.