MEG RICHARDS

From wedding gifts and impromptu getaways to music downloads and sneaky bank fees, we're surrounded by spending traps. Sometimes they're impossible to dodge, but getting a handle on your cash flow can help you avoid feeling ambushed.

Most of us have no idea what we spend on discretionary stuff, and people who think they do are often wrong, said Jennifer Cray, a fee-only financial planner in Menlo Park, Calif. She asks her clients to keep track of spending with a detailed spreadsheet, and most are shocked by what they discover.

The biggest disconnect between the imaginary budget we keep in our heads and cold, hard reality lies in what Cray calls "lumpy spending:" irregular purchases that are hard to track, much less predict. Cray recommends going back at least three months, but reconstructing a full year of expenses is the best way to spot spending traps. Chances are you'll be blindsided by these budget-busters:

GIFTS

Don't blame your latte; gifts are the most-underestimated line item. "You can kind of count on your fingers and figure out what you spend on coffee," Cray said. "But gifts are intermittent, they don't come on a regular basis, then there's usually this big lump at the end of the year."

It isn't just birthdays and the usual greeting card occasions, either; depending on your age, you can get slammed with weddings and showers. If you work in an office, you've probably given five bucks here and $10 there for various events, and all bets are off if you have kids running the grade-school party gantlet.

"Even if you have general rules about how much you'll spend on gifts, it's really hard to keep that adding machine tape going in your head," Cray said. "These are the things you can't know without reconstructing your budget, and usually the number will be surprising. People say, 'I can't believe I spent $5,000 on gifts last year! I love my family and friends, but I can't afford that.'"

TRAVEL

If you only take one big trip a year, and it's always to the same place, you know what you spend on travel. But who does that? It's easy to underestimate the cost of going places, and you never know what will come up.

"'Oh my God, my friend is getting married 2,000 miles away and I am a bridesmaid. I have to get there, I have to buy a dress I'll never wear again, I have to buy weird shoes,'" Cray said. "You can spend a fortune flying to weddings, and very few young people pay for it as they go. Often it all goes on credit cards."

If you don't take lavish vacations, you probably think your travel budget is modest. But when you add up all the spontaneous things -- a weekend at the beach, an afternoon of wine-tasting that turns into an overnight stay, an impromptu drive to Las Vegas -- this line item starts to swell.

CLOTHING

You know who you are. You're into your clothes. You've got the itch to get something new. You crave shoes, and you're pretty sure you deserve them.

If you stick to sale racks and bargain stores, you probably think you don't spend a lot on clothes. But how do you know if you don't add it up?

"If you ask people, especially younger women, what do you spend on clothes, they'll look a little guilty, laugh a little and say something like 'I don't want to know,'" Cray said. "People may think they're overspending, but that's not necessarily going to stop them if they don't know the real number. And they'll justify it by saying, 'I never pay retail.'"

ENTERTAINMENT

Maybe your fix is music downloads and DVDs. Or trying that hot new sushi place. Or concerts or ball games or plays. And for those nights you're home? You've got all the premium channels.

Entertainment budgets can quickly spin out of control, especially if your idea of fun involves tickets to an event, which automatically includes dinner and drinks on the town. Having fun is great, just make sure you're actually being entertained by the dollars you spend. And P.S.: That statement you get from the cable company every month is not a utility bill.

DETAILS

Once you've tackled the juicier targets, take a look at areas where you could be operating more efficiently. You may not be aware of what you're spending on bank charges and late payment fees. Check your cell phone bill carefully. Be brutally honest about the value of your gym membership. If you've disposed of all your disposable income at the end of every month, maybe you should reconsider those weekly manicures.

You don't have to give up lunch out with co-workers, but you could brown-bag it a couple times a week. If coffee is your weakness, Cray suggests figuring out what you think is a reasonable amount to spend and getting yourself a Starbucks card for the month. When it's gone, you're done. The point is to have a plan.

"You have to decide in advance how you're going to spend your money instead of being led by impulse," Cray said. "Spending that doesn't get you much tends to be spending you do at the last minute, for convenience. It's all about being resourceful, but being resourceful takes forethought."

asap columnist Meg Richards is an AP business writer based in Washington, D.C.