In addition to black lights, incense sticks and anything else that screams, “I'm cool, look at me,” posters are perhaps the truest indicator of what type of college student inhabits a particular dorm room or apartment. Or, at the very least, posters indicate what type of person that college student would like people to think he/she is. Either way, here are some posters — divided into four categories — often found in dorm rooms and college apartments, and what our rigorous social survey (we all asked each other) said about those who own them.
  
BANDS/ MUSICIANS

The Bobs (Dylan and Marley): You can turn an apple into a bong in fewer than five minutes.

Dave Matthews Band: You're in a fraternity/ sorority.

Fall Out Boy: Perhaps one more year of high school wouldn't have been the worst idea.

Nirvana: In your opinion, the only real rock star is a dead one.

MOVIES

“Breakfast at Tiffany's”: You're either female or just real in touch with your emotions.

“A Clockwork Orange”: You're dark and mysterious, or at least want people to believe you are.

“Lord of the Rings” or “Star Wars”: You met your “girlfriend” during a 3 a.m. online chat, during which you pondered the notion that Luke Skywalker could defeat Lord Sauron.

“Scarface”: Originality is not your strong suit.
 
FAMOUS FACES

Activists (Che Guevara, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, etc.): You desire political change, even if you drive an SUV and your “thrift store” pants cost more than a pair of Diesel jeans.

President George W. Bush: You attend Texas A&M.

John Belushi's “College” photo from “Animal House”: You appreciate comedic genius, even if it's time to re-evaluate your choice in role models.

(Insert bikini-clad model/actress): You've never been within five feet of anyone even remotely resembling said bikini-clad model/actress.

MISCELLANEOUS

“Starry Night,” “Café Terrace at Night” or any other work of Van Gogh: You fail to see the irony of translating priceless works of art into McPosters that cost $6.95 apiece.

Any poster that advocates beer or marijuana use via a humorous slogan: You're an underclassman.

A shot of the Manhattan night skyline: You love New York City, which obviously means you've never been there.

A “UTSA Football: Still Undefeated” poster: You don't mind poking fun at your alma mater, particularly since they're the reason you'll be paying off student loans until age 45.

CLINT HALE | 210SA