Lies: A one-syllable word that can mean big trouble, or at least big questions, for any relationship.

We are taught at a young age that lies are bad, yet we also learn to tell them and then get away with them.

I still remember my first confession — at 8 years old, admitting to a kindly looking priest that sometimes I told lies so I would not hurt other people's feelings.

But I deliberately left out all my other trespasses: refusing to clean my plate; fighting with my cousin; daring to once check my answers on a spelling test before I turned it in to my first-grade teacher.

Who knew little white lies were training wheels for the great, big whoppers we will tell in the future? We tell someone we love him or her when we don't. We tell ourselves we love someone when we don't. We tell our significant others we aren't mad when, really, we want to tie them up by their ankles and slowly lower them into a fire ant mound.

There are lies by omission, failing to share information that isn't explicitly requested (well, honey, you never asked if I was in a three-way with the upstairs neighbor/had a child/slept with your co-worker.)

How much do we hide from other people, and why do we do it? More importantly, when it comes to our significant others, is there such a thing as a good lie? Where is the line between a healthy dose of honesty and too much information?

I don't know that your significant other needs to know every hookup you've ever had. I believe you should disclose information about serious relationships, but who needs to know about all the little ones? No matter how “cool” your partner might be, knowing every detail of your sordid past could make him or her uncomfortable.
 
That's not to say we should pull the wool over someone's eyes in order to save our own hides. Some of us so fear the truth that we will twist ourselves into emotional pretzels until we are virtual contortionists and our lives resemble nothing more than futile efforts in smooth-talking.

People who tell lies and keep secrets want control, to never lose the hold on a relationship: She won't love me if she knew how I treated my old girlfriend; he won't love me if he knows what a needy little twerp I am.

And for every person who tells and lives a lie, there is a person who believes the lie and settles for it, because sometimes it can feel easier to trade a healthy dose of honesty for a weak shot of ignorance.

No one wants to face the hard facts: Maybe he's gay, sweetie. Maybe he's got a sancha on the side. Maybe you're the sancha.

But until you do, until you let the truth set you free, you will be stuck, forever waiting outside the confession booth, boxing up all those stories inside you.