I can't deny that my relationship with “The Simpsons” has been strained over the past nine years. I once watched the show every week in almost ritual-like fashion. They made us laugh. They were sharp, witty and had the voicing talent of TV greatness.

Sadly, “The Simpsons” currently are no more than a continuing line of guest celebrity stooges and overused gags. Maybe the movie will provide a well-needed defibrillating shock for the series. But I doubt it. They just keep beating the same old dead donkey every week. And any animal lover will tell you, beating donkeys is wrong.

But it was not always so. There was a time when “The Simpsons” ruled our Sunday nights, especially the dialogue. There have been lines uttered on that show that were so brilliant, so hilarious that beverages shot out of noses all across America. I polled some friend's at work and these beauties are the result. I give you: The Best Lines From “The Simpsons,” Ever! Probably!

Moe Szyslak: “I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt, and my butt smells and I like to smell my own butt.”

Ned Flanders (at a Hell's Satans bike club meeting): “I move we reconsider our club name. Make it something a little less blasphemous. After all, we don't want to go to Hell.”
Lenny Leonard: “How about the Devil's Pals?”
Ned Flanders: “No.”
Moe Szyslak: “The Christ Punchers?”
Ned Flanders: “The Christ ..... I, I don't think you understand my objection.”

Chief Wiggum: “This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a ..... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Homer Simpson: “Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?”

Rainier Wolfcastle: “My eyes! Da goggles do nothing!”

Barney Gumble: “Whoah, someone smells stinky! Oh, it's me.”

Ralph Wiggum: “I ate the blue ones ..... they taste like burning.”

Ralph Wiggum: “Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! I'm learneding!”

Kang (running for president): “Abortions for some, miniature American flags for the others!”

Comic Book Guy: “Ohh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.”

Reverend Lovejoy: “This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now, let us say the Lord's prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.”

Apu: “Please do not offer my god a peanut.”