There are a lot of things about arranged marriages I don't fully understand: The idea of committing your life to someone you barely know, the posting of detailed profiles on matrimony Web sites, the level of parental involvement in the early stages of relationships.

But there is one part of the tradition — still practiced in parts of Asia, Africa, the Middle East and the U.S. — that makes perfect sense to me: The focus those arranging marriages put on ensuring a couple is compatible financially as well as in other areas of life.

Getting married is more than the joining of two households, two social lives and two hearts; it is the joining of two pocketbooks.

I'm single, but my married friends tell me one of the biggest sources of stress in a marriage is money.

Some people say they resent having to help pay off a spouse's previous debt. Others realize only after saying “I do” that they've married an incredibly uptight penny-pincher or uncontrollable shopaholic.
Take Doug, for example.

“My wife is a compulsive spender,” he said in a plea for help from Money Management International.

“As a result we are currently in credit debt to the tune of about $50,000. The only thing we have to show for all of this is a basement and garage full of merchandise with the tags still on, probably 95 percent of which will never be used,” he told the nonprofit through its Web site.

Money Management offered to devise a debt repayment program but also suggested professional counseling and a call to Debtors Anonymous.

To keep yourself out of a Doug-like dilemma, Rande Spiegelman, vice president of financial planning for the Schwab Center for Investment Research, says couples shouldn't “assume money matters will fall into place without any planning.”

He suggests couples entering a marriage with debt create a plan to pay it off together as quickly as possible.

If one spouse is a spender and the other a saver, Spiegelman recommends hammering out a budget that will satisfy both partners' needs and at least some of the spenders' wants.

He insists couples consult one another before opening new credit cards, taking out bank loans or upgrading to a nicer car and bigger car payment.

Ideally, marital assets should be viewed as “ours,” not “mine and yours,” Spiegelman said.

“Ours” may not be an easy place to get to, but building a relationship on a strong financial foundation can keep you from becoming a Doug. And that's worth about $50,000.