The old dating adage goes that there are plenty of fish in the sea. But maybe you're too busy trying to keep your hooks in that one difficult catch to notice the options around you.

I've previously written about breaking up and hooking up, but here's a bigger question: Once we find ourselves in a relationship and it turns out not to meet our needs, why do we hang on so long?

Raise your hand if you're among the folks out there who have a hard time letting go of significant others.

(In case you wondered about my position on the matter, I had to type that last sentence with only my right hand because my left one was up in the air).

We've all heard about people who can't leave physically abusive relationships, and I'm sure we've all passed judgment: Why don't they just get out of it?

But let's not forget about those of us who stay in relationships that border on a sort of mental abuse, or, in most cases, self-inflicted torture. Maybe it's not that anyone's hitting us but we're too busy hitting ourselves.

I was once in a relationship that left many of my emotional needs unsatisfied. The situation got so bad, I seldom got a full night's sleep. But in the end, I stuck around and left it up to him to end things.

I had lived without a boyfriend for many years. I had my own friends, my own money and my own independence. Yet the thought of letting go seemed so difficult, such a risk.

I dreaded the thought of my boyfriend with someone else while I was home alone, getting less attractive and more uninteresting by the minute. I wondered, if I broke up with him, did that mean I was giving up, and maybe things would work if only I tried a little harder.

Was I thinking there was no one else who would tolerate me? Was this all about Mommy and Daddy issues? Was this about the fact that I was an awkward kid with big hair and braces who members of the opposite sex ignored with a seemingly deliberate intensity?

My therapist gets paid well to help me sort through these issues. In the meantime, it's time to learn to cut those negative ties.

I had a humbling moment the other day when I was trying on clothes at a store in the mall, and I briefly eavesdropped on a conversation between the sales girls. They were discussing the various details of their friends' love lives. I particularly remember mention of one girl who kept trying to get her boyfriend back after he ended the romance.

One of the responses went like this:

“Doesn't she know if he broke up with her that means he's not willing to try anymore?”

Hmm. That's some sound advice, even if it was overheard in the mall.

So maybe next time, I'll listen to my retailer and just let go.