A long time ago, in a world far, far away, my mother once told me that nice boys only like nice girls.

“Don't be too aggressive. They don't want you to go after them,” advised my mother, a product of a Catholic school education who belonged to a seemingly unsullied era of cotillions and courtship.

On the one hand, I think this line of thinking is old-fashioned, a good way to end up standing on the sidelines instead of playing the field.

A woman can as easily initiate a relationship as a man and should, especially in cases when the man is clueless and doesn't understand you are hitting on him. My friend said she wouldn't be married today if she hadn't pretty much sat in her husband's lap and proved to him she was interested.

The same friend recently told me about an “Oprah” episode she saw about ways to meet men. A man who authored a book on the subject instructed a successful, attractive but inexplicably single woman in the rules of the mating game. His advice? Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy, go to places where men congregate and ask them about anything: the weather or where the hardware section is at Target.

Sorry, Oprah, but this may be taking things a little too far. The maneuvers seem so obvious. Put on your heels and head to the golfing range? I'd rather take a bullet at the firing range.

So I did an informal poll among some men I know to find out their opinions: What would you think if a woman approached you at a bar and struck up a conversation or even asked for your number first?

“If an attractive woman approaches you first, there must be something wrong with her,” one said.

Another one in the group said he prefers to approach a woman so he can “choose” which one he wants. That sounds to me a little bit like shopping or choosing a puppy at the pound, but I appreciate the full disclosure.
For them, the issue had nothing to do with a woman coming on too strong but a woman coming on at all.

Are these guys more traditional than I think or is it that some of them can't handle a woman who knows what she wants?

Maybe I'm a student of the chaos theory. A guy once hit on me in an airport security line, though I wore no makeup, my hair was soaking wet and half the time I ignored him because I was so worried that I would miss my plane.

I didn't look like a nice girl, and the only thing aggressive about me was the way I kept trying to hustle through the line.

Anything can happen, ladies. Just be ready for it.