Who knew Spider-Man could be such a mean son of a bitch?

Granted, he swoops across the city saving innocent citizens in peril. And OK, that pasty Peter Parker seems harmless enough. (He sure is sensitive. Sheesh.)

But as the trailers for “Spider-Man 3” imply, our beloved superhero and his mortal counterpart also share a dark side.

Greg Garrett, author of “Holy Superheroes” and an English professor at Baylor University, dubs it “the shadow” — an inner-villain of sorts symbolized in the sequel by Spider-Man's new black costume. Never mind that the get-up actually is a parasitic alien from a faraway galaxy.

“It's sort of a reflection of that division in his self and his psyche,” Garrett said.

Who knew? Well, anyone paying attention. Garrett noted a couple of moments in the previous two films that reveal a Spidey/Peter at war with some selfish urges.

For example, Peter takes revenge on that unscrupulous wrestling manager in the first film by allowing an armed robber to flee. And he chucks the whole superhero business altogether in the sequel.

We can buy that. A closer look, though, reveals an assortment of alarming offenses against the public good.

The “shadow” of Spider-Man, it seems, stretches far and wide.

Where do we begin?

In the first film, Peter brutally beats a school bus that won't stop for him. Later, in battling the Green Goblin as Spider-Man, he saves plummeting citizens but ignores a crumbling balustrade.

All that is disturbing enough. But our superhero's behavior only worsens in the sequel.

He vandalizes, nay, destroys billions of dollars in high-tech equipment belonging to Doctor Octopus. He does this again after Doc Ock spends days refurbishing his giant nuclear sun thingy.

Later, Peter confesses to Aunt May that he could've saved Uncle Ben's life. In the process, he totally ruins her day. We hope he's happy.

We shudder to see “the shadow” in full bloom.

For shame, Spider-Man. 
 
Words: Brian Chasnoff | 210SA contributor