Wednesday | April 25

‘IDOL GIVES BACK' EXTRAVAGANZA
Lowdown: The two-hour “American Idol” results show will also feature performances and appearances from stars such as Kelly Clarkson (right), Pink, Sacha Baron Cohen (yes, Borat) and Gwen Stefani. The extravaganza promotes “Idol Gives Back,” which hopes to raise awareness of the effects of poverty on children in Africa and the United States.
When: 7 p.m.
Where: FOX
Info: americanidol.com

SIESTA FEST
Lowdown: Cover bands aplenty. And if there's anything more hysterically entertaining than '80s hair metal, it's a tribute band dedicated to '80s hair metal.
When: Noon-11 p.m. (runs through April 28)
Where: Hemisfair Park, 600 Hemisfair Plaza Way
How much: $10, but free if you get there between noon and 3 p.m.
Info: siestafest.com

TWO TONS OF STEEL
Lowdown: Two Tons of Steel offers its boot-scootin' sound as part of The 2007 County Line Bar-B-Q Live Music Series, which benefits the San Antonio Food Bank. Two Tons is more pop-rockabilly than country, really. Like Wilco, only with a name that sounds like a WWE tag team.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: County Line Bar-B-Q,
10101 Interstate 10 West
How much: Free
Info: countyline.com or twotons.com

Thursday | April 26

NIOSA
Lowdown: It's College Night at NIOSA. Note to local college professors — you might as well go ahead and cancel any and all Friday classes because no one's coming.
When: 5:30-10:30 p.m.
Where: La Villita
How much: $10, $2 (children age 6-12), children under 6 free
Info: niosa.org

MULTICULTURAL CONFERENCE
Lowdown: Who said Fiesta was just about beer? April 26 is the final day of this official Fiesta event: The 13th annual Multicultural Conference, featuring presentations, music and readings about “Fear and Loathing: The Springboards of Modern Culture.” Kind of makes you want to eat a funnel cake, doesn't it?
When: 9 a.m.-2 p.m.
Where: San Antonio College,
1300 San Pedro Ave.
How much: Free
Info: fiesta-sa.org

Friday | April 27

BATTLE OF FLOWERS PARADE
Lowdown: The got-to-go Fiesta event, this parade honors the defenders of the Alamo. It also has marching bands, floats and beauty queens. Cause, hey, nothing says, “Thanks for defending Texas,” like a chick in a formal and flip-flops.
When: The parade starts at 12:45 p.m., but folks line up early.
Where: Downtown
How much: Free, or $12-$15 for bleacher seats
Info: Battleofflowers.org

MIX FEST 2007
Lowdown: It's pop-lite heaven. Blue October, Moses Mayfield, Katharine McPhee, and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus are only a few of the entertainers scheduled for this teenybopper bonanza.
When: Doors open at 4 p.m.
Where: Lonestar Pavilion at Sunset Station, 1174 E. Commerce
How much: $25
Info: mix961.com

SHAWN WAYANS
Lowdown: Wait, which Wayans is he again? Oh yeah, one of the two from “White Chicks.” With that in mind, proceed at your own risk.
When: 8:30 and 10:45 p.m. April 27 and 28
Where: Rivercenter Comedy Club,
849 E. Commerce St.
How much: $38
Info: rivercenter comedyclub.com

TERRI CLARK
Lowdown: She sang “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me,” but don't waste time feeling sorry for this country chick. She's sold millions of albums. And she's coming to San Antonio to take your money. Poor, poor, pitiful you.
When: Doors open at 5 p.m.
Where: Cowboys Dancehall,
3030 N.E. Loop 410
How much: $15-$20
Info: cowboysdancehall.com

Saturday, April 28

FIESTA FLAMBEAU
Lowdown: This annual event is the coolest parade going. Get your margarita on, and get to flambeau-ing at the nation's largest illuminated night parade.
When: Vanguard at 7 p.m., parade at 7:45 p.m.
Where: Starts at Broadway and Grayson streets, moves through downtown
How much: Free, or $8 for chair seating. Bleacher seats sold out.
Info: fiestaflambeau.org

CHICAGO
Lowdown: The band. Not the musical, thank goodness. You know their music from all those soft-rock stations preprogrammed on your mom's car radio. Or perhaps you're simply an old soul. Kool & the Gang also performs.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Selma
How much: $31-$71
Info: chicagotheband.com

RIVER CITY WRESTLING
Lowdown: RCW presents “Payback,” featuring Total Nonstop Action superstars “Showtime” Eric Young and “Hotstuff” Hernandez. “This time, it's personal.” It's funnier if you imagine that uttered in pro wrestler voice.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: Bellaire Baptist Church, 116 Clovis
How much: $10 (at the door), $7 (advance)
Info: rcw-wrestling.com

Sunday, April 29

HEADBANG FOR THE HIGHWAY
Lowdown: This might be the only event billed as a “battle of the bands” in which the audience may actually get to witness a real battle. Awesome. Bands include Before You Accuse Me, Foretold Defiance, Riot Act and Falling For Days. We've got 10 bucks on Riot Act as last band standing, if only based on name.
When: 5:30 p.m.
Where: White Rabbit, 2410 N. St. Mary's
How much: $10
Info: sawhiterabbit.com

HOOP IT UP
Lowdown: Think you've still got what it takes to ball? Here's your chance to prove it. Wrap up the knee, bust out the Icy Hot and pull out the old wrist brace for this two-day, three-on-three basketball competition. Includes a slam-dunk contest and a three-point shootout, because you're sooo good at that, aren't you Manu?
When: All day, April 28 and 29
Where: Alamodome
How much: $144.50 per team registration fee
Info: hoopitup.com

Monday, April 30

‘HEROES'
Lowdown: Fiesta's over, so put your feet up and catch some disposable drama. On this current “it” show, fan fave Hiro and sidekick Ando teleport five years into the future. Interesting. Maybe by then, people watching the show will know what the hell is going on.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: NBC
Info: nbc.com/Heroes

Tuesday, May 1

HEAVEN AND HELL TOUR
Lowdown: It's the concert tour with the logo of angels puffing on cigarettes. Otherwise known as Heaven and Hell. Otherwise known as dudes from Megadeth and Machine Head, with Ronnie James Dio fronting an Ozzy-less Black Sabbath. And it's sponsored by VH1 Classic? WTF?
When: 7 p.m.
Where: Verizon Wireless Amphitheater, Selma
How much: $21-$53.50
Info: heavenandhelllive.com

‘INN LOVE'
Lowdown: As Ricky Bobby would say, “Help me, Tom Cruise!” “90210's” Tori Spelling and that dude she just married wrap up the first (and we pray) last season of their reality show about two losers who get knocked up and run a bed-and-breakfast they opened with her daddy's money. Daddy's money, and they start a bed-and-breakfast? Why not an organized gambling ring? Now that would make for interesting television.
When: 9:30 p.m.
Where: Oxygen network
Info: oxygen.com/innlove

MIXED MARTIAL ARTS
Lowdown: “Sudden Impact.” No longer just a 1983 film from Clint Eastwood. Now, it's 10 mixed martial arts cage fights, all in one place. One of the few who's never seen or heard of MMA? Think human cockfighting.
When: 5 p.m. (doors open)
Where: Cowboys Dance Hall,
3030 NE Loop 410
How much: $15-$74
Info: sanantoniomma.com