I began hearing rumors from afar of a strange man who lived with the animals, talked with the animals and indeed walked with the animals. I immediately conferred with my sources. And true enough, the Web site I stumbled on proclaimed — this dude lives with wolves.|

Beauty, yet nothing special. I happen to live with cats ..... and one adult female. I even lived with roaches in college. So, dude lives with wolves, big deal.

Then I watched “A Man Among Wolves” on the National Geographic Channel. Life has not been the same since.

I was floored by the utter cool and yet insane subject matter in this documentary that follows researcher and wolf over-enthusiast Shaun Ellis as he struggles to raise three abandoned wolf pups in the ways of wolfdom, to get them ready for release into the wild. The show takes the idea of mimicking animal behavior to unbelievable limits.

And when Ellis began teaching his pack various wolf howls, my head nearly popped with glee and ideas.

This man — is — The Kwisatz Haderach.

I too must follow his unyielding way of the wolf if I am to become a Beastmaster. We all know what awaits Beastmasters. That's right, a Tanya Roberts.

Anyway, Ellis is shown at his pack's side nearly 24 hours a day at the animal sanctuary/zoo in England. His family ended up leaving him over his single-minded passion.

The documentary chronicles him educating the pups how to communicate with growls and whines, how to eat, hunt and fish. Everything. I kept expecting him to drop trou and show them how to make number ones and twos.

Think I am kidding? The man drags large deer carcasses into the enclosure, gets on all fours and eats with them. Gnawing on the bones and meat of the deer, showing them a wolf-pack eating order.

Which was only slightly less fascinating than how he fed them when they were younger. Just as their mothers would in the wild, he would chew meat, open his mouth and let the young wolves lick the food out of his mouth.

Some would say nasty, but something in my eye gleamed. I cocked my head ever so slightly in thoughtful pause, and took an eye bead straight to my cat Duffy, who had been watching the show with me. (The howls had called him to the TV.)

Anyway, I was about to head straight to the beef-flavored cat food when one word from my wife stopped me dead in my tracks.

The curt “No!” sent me back to my couch, whimpering.

She was not even in the room with us! Alas, she's had too many years of TV watching experience with me to know that when I stop mumbling to myself during TV time, my wheels are turning and something bad usually manifests.

It mattered not. The training would continue. Somehow I would attain the level of Beastmaster, and “A Man Among Wolves” will show me the way.