Wednesday  | April 4

BRUCE ROBISON
Lowdown: Texas boy Bruce Robison performs as part of the 2007 County Line Bar-B-Q Live Music Series, which benefits the San Antonio Food Bank. So do your best to squeeze into your tightest pair of Wranglers. It's for a good cause.
When: 8-10 p.m.
Where: County Line Bar-B-Q, 10101 I-10 West
How much: Free with canned good
Info: countyline.com

ICONS: THE LESBIAN AND GAY HISTORY OF THE WORLD
Lowdown: Ellen Degeneres is coming to town! And, for that matter, so are Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Stein and Sappho. Are you seeing a theme here? It's “ICONS: The Lesbian and Gay History of the World, Vol. 1,” featuring San Antonio native Jade Esteban Estrada. This one-man show brings to life notable gay and lesbian figures.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: Metropolitan Community Church of San Antonio, 611 E. Myrtle St.
How much: $12, general admission; $10, students and seniors
Info: mccsa.org or getjaded.com

ASSOC. OF COLLEGE UNIONS CHAMPIONSHIP
COLLEGE SHOOTING CHAMPIONSHIPS
Lowdown: Did Dick Cheney get the memo? If so, duck for cover. Approximately 250 shooters from more than 30 colleges across the country will do their best to shoot a small clay target as it zips across the sky. The Olympic committee will be there picking people to go to Olympic camp in Colorado Springs, Colo. There are five events: international trap, international skeet, American trap, American skeet and five-stand sporting clays.
When: Starts today and continues through April 8.
Where: National Shooting Complex, 5931 Roft Road
How much: Free
Info: nationalshooting complex.com

Thursday   | April 5

‘THE OFFICE'
Lowdown: Catch it while you can, as this show has fallen so far in Season Three, you might not want to stick around for Season Four. On that note, a suggestion for “Office” producers. More Jim, Dwight, Stanley, Creed and any other non-Michael Scott office worker. Less, well, Michael Scott.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: NBC
Info: nbc.com/the_office/

‘THE REAPING'
Lowdown: A movie, starring Academy Award winner Hilary Swank, about biblical plagues. How uplifting. And just in time for Easter!
When: Opens April 4
Where: See movie listings
Info: thereapingmovie. warnerbros.com

Friday  | April 6

‘GRINDHOUSE'
Lowdown: This isn't a movie so much as an event. Two of the most popular directors — Quentin Tarantino and San Antonio native Robert Rodriguez — get together for a good old-fashioned double feature. Zombies. Kurt Russell as a serial killer. Women with machine guns as functioning legs. Face it, folks, you're not seeing that from any other directors.
When: Opens April 6
Where: See movie listings
Info: grindhousemovie.net

SPLASHTOWN OPENS
Lowdown: Splish, splash! San Antonio's own water park opens for the 2007 season today. Watch your kids duck and dive at the Kiddie Pool Floating Easter Egg Hunt, then take a ride on the slide. But make sure not to do so on your stomach, as that makes the lifeguards really mad. And there's nothing worse than being reprimanded by a 16-year-old kid on a power trip.
When: Easter Egg hunt at 2 p.m.; park open from 11 a.m.-7 p.m.
Where: Splashtown, 3600
N. Interstate 35
How much: $24.99, general admission; other prices range from $7.99-$18-99. Free for toddlers 2 and younger and seniors 65 and older.
Info: splashtownsa.com
 
Saturday x  | April 7

TEMPLE OF FLESH AND FETISH BALL
Lowdown: OK, we're not going to give away all the details about this one, but let's just say it's the closest thing you're going to find to Las Vegas in San Antonio. Gals, pull out the fishnets, your best lingerie and some red lipstick. Boys, don some latex and a trench coat. The ensemble Temple Of Flesh presents a fetish show, Exotic Easter 7 — Vegas. In addition to an erotic multimedia show by VJs, there will be free liquid latex body painting, a fantasy playground and “motivating” go-go dancers. It sounds like an episode of HBO's “Real Sex” to us.
When: 8 p.m.-2 a.m.
Where: Sam's Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St.
How much: $10 (18-and-up)
Info: samsburgerjoint.com or (210) 223-2830

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (AT THE MCNAY)
Lowdown: Do the hustle! It's red-carpet night at the McNay Art Museum, and that means Studio 54 has nothing on this town. Pull out your elementary school photos and channel the energy that made you think Farrah Fawcett hair was a good idea and polyester was God's gift to fabric. Now pull out those feather earrings, your Marcia Brady headband and get ready to boogie beneath a disco ball — just like the cool kids did back in the '70s. Because the '70s were so cool.
When: 8 p.m.-midnight
Where: McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels
How much: $75 per person, includes two drink tickets
Info: mcnayart.org or (210) 805-1761

BIG SOY
Lowdown: Soy is for the hippies at your local Starbucks. And really, what kind of true hippie goes to Starbucks? But Big Soy is something else altogether. Big Soy is a rockin' indie band with something to say to you. (Yeah, you.) With John Edds on guitar and vocals and Adam White on drums and keyboard, this band cranks out more sound than groups twice its size. The band has an EP, Something Disappeared, dropping in mid-May. AM Syndicate and Monroe are also on the bill.
 When: 10 p.m.
Where: Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary's St.
How much: $5, 21 and up; $7, 18 and up
Info: myspace.com/limelightsa
Sundayx   | April 8x 

EASTER BRUNCH
Lowdown: Now this is what we're talking about. Stuff your gullet with all the food you can eat at the Southern-style buffet while listening to the music of the Gospel Stars. Got kids? Or perhaps a really strange friend? No problem. The Big Bunny will be present, and there also will be a petting zoo. Eat fried chicken, then go pet baby chicks. There's just something wrong with that scenario.
When: Two seatings: 10:30 a.m. and
1:30 p.m.
Where: Sunset Station Lonestar Pavilion, 1174 E. Commerce St.
How much: Adults $35, children 12 and under $18, seniors and military $28
Info: sunset-station.com;  Call (210) 222-9481 for tickets.

‘THE SOPRANOS' & ‘ENTOURAGE'
Lowdown: The boys are back! There are reasons HBO is worth the monthly charge. Two of the best shows on TV return. “The Sopranos” begins its final nine-episode run, and “Entourage” (above) follows with Season Three. All the f-bombs we can handle in one night — plus some bloodshed (hopefully) in the Soprano household and some trash talk from super agent Ari Gold.
When: “Sopranos” at 8 p.m. “Entourage” at 9 p.m.
Where: HBO
Info: hbo.com

Monday  | April 9

SWING FACTORY
Lowdown: Ask Mom if you can borrow her poodle skirt, and start spit-shining those saddle shoes. Or just slip into your Levi's and a tank top. Whatever you wear, be ready to swing. Sam's Swing Factory, with Chadd Thomas and the Crazy Kings, will get you out on the floor and into a rockabilly/swing happy place. Dance lessons by the San Antonio Swing Dance Society.
When: 7 p.m.-midnight
Where: Sam's Burger Joint,
330 E. Grayson St.
How much: $5
Info: sasds.org,
samsburgerjoint.com or (210) 223-2830

Tuesday | April 10

CASSADAGA
Lowdown: Indie darlings Bright Eyes promises to make our year with their newest release: Cassadaga. Guest artists Gillian Welch, Janet Weiss (ex-Sleater-Kinney), and others join Conor Oberst and the gang for the latest CD to blow your mind. And if you don't like Bright Eyes, well, then we just can't help you.
When: Drops April 10
How much: $10-$20
Info: thisisbrighteyes.com

MEL GIBSON ULTIMATE COLLECTION
Lowdown: Before Mel Gibson made a complete ass of himself, people used to think he was cute and a decent actor. Relive his glory days with the purchase of the Mel Gibson Ultimate Collection, which includes “Braveheart,” “Payback” and “We Were Soldiers.” Proposed drinking game: Take a shot whenever Mel raises his eyebrow and flashes a cheeky grin or whenever he denies the existence of the Holocaust.
When: Releases April 10
How much: $30-$45
Info: amazon.com