Do you often wonder where are all your friends went? The ones you had to spill your feelings to every day. The ones who gave you dating advice or helped you deal with your parents. Or even the ones who were your partners in crime.

Do you often wonder where are all your friends went?

The ones you had to spill your feelings to every day. The ones who gave you dating advice or helped you deal with your parents. Or even the ones who were your partners in crime.

Well, if you're married or have children, your friends probably aren't your first priority anymore. Keeping in contact and hanging out with friends can be increasingly difficult when your spouse just wants to spend time with you — and not your five college roommates, or a night out now means reading to your toddler at the local bookstore.

UTSA employee Ashley Harris said before her son was born, her friends were a vital part of her active social life. Rarely a weekend went by without her having lunch, coffee or seeing a movie with a friend.

“Those late-night gatherings are a thing of the past. I'm dead on my feet by 10 p.m.,” Harris said. “Which is very difficult for someone who was a former self-proclaimed night owl. I remember in college, we didn't even plan to arrive at a club until 9:30 p.m. or 10 p.m.”

Now, Harris has to “schedule” time with friends or trades off baby-sitting duties with her husband. She jokes she's learned to wheel and deal better than most used-car salesmen when it comes to negotiating with her husband to baby-sit.

But being pregnant with her second son, Harris admits time with friends has been more difficult to schedule.

Newlywed Angela McClendon Johnson said her husband, Marcel, has taken priority over spending time with friends. But she's learned couple get-togethers are a way to socialize without leaving out spouses.

“Marriage is a commitment and a life change, so I can't live and hang out like I did when I was single,” she said. “And, I don't think this is a bad thing either. It's maturity and makes you realize what and who is most important.”

Melissa S. Monroe | Contributor

THE RUNDOWN

If you still are struggling to stay connected to your friends or let your distant friends know you still care, here are a few tips:

Don't assume that married or involved friends have no time to hang out anymore; it never hurts to send an e-mail or make a phone call just to say hello.

If you can get away at lunch during work, try to catch up with a friend.

Cook them a meal or help them with chores around the house, or better yet, baby-sit.

If you are involved, married or have kids, don't talk just about you. Ask your friends what's new.

Make a date. Try to hang out at least once a month.

Give to the relationship what you want back.

Detroit News