Wednesday | March 28
 
BORDER PALACE
Lowdown: Get in the mood (whatever mood that might be is your business) with Border Palace's acoustic guitar and world beat sound.
When: 9 p.m.
Where: LUNA, 6740 San Pedro Ave.
How much: $5 Free cover??? Web site says $5
Info: lunalive.com or 804-2433

‘LOST'
Lowdown: Does anyone ever really die on this show? Boone and Shannon, those crazy incestuous kids, make a guest appearance from beyond the grave. Hurley and Sawyer have a tussle, and Sun learns (duh-duh-dum) the truth. Yes, it's out there, but at this show's almost elderly pace, it won't be revealed until 2019.
When: 9 p.m.
Where: ABC

Thursday  | March 29

BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES CD RELEASE PARTY
Lowdown: Two of the songs featured on this band's MySpace page are titled “You Ain't Sh**” language check and “Kill a Pedophile.” Well, at least we know their stance on capital punishment.
When: 7 p.m. (doors open)
Where: The White Rabbit
How much: $10
Info: sawhiterabbit.com
 
“UPROOTED: THE KATRINA PROJECT”
Lowdown: Remember when Hurricane Katrina happened, and you swore you would be a more active and involved person? Nearly two years later, here's your chance. Jump-Start presents a multidisciplinary performance featuring displaced actors, poets, dancers and musicians from the Gulf Coast. We don't want to get all self-righteous on you, but this is important. A special preview performance on Thursday is free to any person displaced by Katrina and living in San Antonio.
When: 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday
Where: Jump-Start Theatre, 108 Blue Star
How much: $9 students/seniors, $12 general
Info: jump-start.org

Friday | March 30 

CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER
Lowdown: Once upon a time, in a land much funnier than this, comedians used to do these things called live shows. They would stand on a stage and say funny things in a profane manner. People would laugh. Ten years later, they'd many of the comics OD'd. Maybe that's why the modern crop of comedians is so intent on churning out one half-ass film after another (we're looking at you, Dane Cook). Still, Cedric's done more right by us more than some: “Barbershop” and “The Original Kings of Comedy” outweigh “Intolerable Cruelty” (this movie was intolerably cool) and “Be Cool” (this movie which wasn't cool) in our book. Though we're not ready to forgive just yet for “The Cleaner.” You better be funny, man. Damned funny.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: Majestic Theatre
How much: $39.50-$69.50
Info: majesticempire.com

BLADES OF GLORY PRE-PARTY
Lowdown: Will Ferrell (above right) and the “Napoleon Dynamite” dude Jon Heder play figure skaters. You're laughing already! The Alamo Drafthouse is having a special event for the opening of the movie: Drafthouse staff members will be dressed up like characters from the movie. Get there early for a surprise, Drafthouse officials say.
When: Actors will be there at 6 p.m.; movie starts at 7:45 tonight
Where: 1255 SW Loop 410
How much: $8 general admission; $6 military and students
Info: bladesofglorymovie.com
 
LAST COMIC STANDING AUDITIONS
Lowdown: Don't think you're funny enough to make people laugh? Not to worry. None of the show's previous four winners were either?
When: 9 a.m.
Where: Rivercenter Comedy Club
Info: rivercentercomedyclub.com
 
JACK INGRAM
Lowdown: Country singer Ingram (right) is releasing a new CD. Buy one, and you get to see his show free. Or maybe it's the other way around. Anyway, you get a copy of “This Is It” and are allowed to watch Ingram toss his Keith-Urban-wannabe-hair.
When: 11 p.m. (Doors open at 5, and you can eat or watch bull riding before then)
Where: Cowboys Dancehall, 3030 NE Loop 410 at I-35
How much: $18 (concert and CD); $10 (concert only)
Info: cowboysdancehall.com
 
Saturday  | March 31

RACE FOR THE CURE
Lowdown: Lace up your Nikes with pink ribbons. It's time to walk for a good cause. Or if you're healthy and not hung over, go ahead and run by the rest of us slackers. This is the 10th annual Komen Race For The Cure.
When: Opens at 7:45 a.m., but you can sneak in late
Where: Alamodome
How much: Registration starts at $35
Info: sakomen.org

GARY P. NUNN
Lowdown: He sings “London Homesick Blues” and some other stuff. So get your cowboys boots and hat, pick out your best can of Skoal and head on down.
When: 9 p.m.-1 a.m.
Where: Hangin' Tree Saloon, 18424 2nd St.
How much: $10
Info: 651-5812

SPRING FILM SLAM
Lowdown: The San Antonio chapter of the National Association of Latino Film Producers presents short films at the Spring Film Slam. Feast your eyes on an assortment of films from San Antonio and South Texas filmmakers. They all ought to be pretty good, but hey, even if some of them suck, they can't be longer than 20 minutes.
When: 7:30 p.m.
Where: Blue Star Brewing Company, 1414 S. Alamo in the Blue Star Arts Complex
How much: Free
Info: nalip.org/texas/ sananto/index.htm

ART SLAM
Lowdown: Live music and live art, all under one roof. Local bands, including dancelikerobots and Prof. Amsterdam, will take the stage, while local artists such as Deadbeat Hero and Freddy Lopez Jr. will create art before your very eyes. The event also will feature a break-dancing performance by the United B-boys, and all of the artwork made during the show will be available for purchase.
When: 9 p.m.
Where: Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary's
How much: $5 (21 and up), $10 (under 21)
Info: myspace.com/artslam

KITE FLYING FESTIVAL
Lowdown: Bring your own kite and fly high. Plus, engineers, scientists and meteorologists will be out there to teach children about physics, aviation science and ideal weather conditions for kite-flying. The meteorologists will also teach the children how to predict the weather with such extreme inaccuracy.
When: 10 a.m.-2 p.m.
Where: McAllister Park, 13102 Jones Maltsberger
How much: Free
Info: safriendsoftheparks.org

Sunday | April 1

ACTIVATE BEAUTY
Lowdown: Paul Anthony, stylist to “Without a Trace” star Roselyn Sanchez, and his team of experts will be on hand to offer beauty touch-ups and consultations on a first-come, first-serve basis. You still won't look like Roselyn Sanchez, but you'll look better than you do now, and that's a start.
When: Noon-4 p.m.
Where: Wal-Mart, 8500 Jones Maltsberger
How much: $6.99-$8.99 (Activate products)
Info: (210) 377-1899 (Wal-Mart location)

JERRY JEFF WALKER
Lowdown: Were you lucky enough to buy your tickets early? If not, too bad, because they're sold out. But if you're in, have a blast at Jerry Jeff Walker's Birthday Bash. Maybe one day you'll be legendary and people will throw you a party like that. Or maybe you'll spend much of your adult life enjoying your birthdays alone, soaked in nothing more than misery and cheap whiskey. It could go either way.
When: 7 p.m.
Where: Gruene Hall, New Braunfels
Info: gruene hall.com

WRESTLEMANIA 23
Lowdown: Grown men in their underwear play fight. Sign us up.
When: 6 p.m.
Where: Pay-per-view
How much: $49.95
Info: wwe.com

Monday | April 2

NCAA CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Lowdown: The NCAA basketball tournament is analogous to relationship sex. In the beginning of the relationship/tournament, it goes on all day and all night, and it's fantastic. But by the time the tournament/ relationship hits its championship game — namely, marriage — you do it once a day (if you're lucky), and it's not even that good. Which is probably why we don't like basketball.
When: 8 p.m.
Where: CBS
Info: ncaasports.com

Tuesday  | April 3
 
FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE'S NEW CD
Lowdown: We like these guys — even though we're not quite sure what all they sing besides “Stacy's Mom.” And Rachel Hunter looked old in that video anyway.
When: Traffic and Weather drops today
How much: $10-$20 (depending on retail outlet)
Info: fountainsofwayne.com
 
‘DEATH OF A PRESIDENT' DVD
Lowdown: This is that flick that got all the flack last year — as most thought-provoking films do — but at its heart is a really interesting question. If the president was assassinated, what would happen to the rest of us (other than Dick Cheney and Barney the dog)? We're going to stop there, for fear of having our phone tapped and our secret spy identity revealed.
How much: $12 and up
Info: deathofapresident.com