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My Yahoo! instant messenger jingled, signaling an incoming message.

“Hey — I’ve been staring at your profile pic for 10 minutes and I’m headed to San Antonio.”

“LMAO, right,” I responded.

Yet another session of flirtation from on-again, off-again, but perennially interested ex-fling “Kevin.”

Kevin flirts with me whenever he can, through IM, texting, Facebook — whatever. It doesn’t start that way; we talk about all sorts of things, from politics to the NBA, but the conversation somehow always spirals into seduction.

I should be flattered, right? Except Kevin has a girlfriend (and I’m not all too single myself).

Here’s the kicker: Kevin is a loyal guy. We often talk about how much of a ninja he is when it comes to fending off temptation, and I’m convinced he flirts with me so much because I make it easy for him by not entertaining his temptations.

But I also know that he wouldn’t be altogether bluffing if we found ourselves in the same ZIP code. Which is why I dodge his advances like swine flu — I will not be aiding and abetting an affair.

Which raises the question: Is Kevin (or anyone) wrong for flirting if he is in a relationship? And what, in our technology-saturated lifestyles, actually counts as cheating?

A recent Glamour article online asked readers (all women) what crossed the line in a range from friending an ex on Facebook to “sexting” to sleeping in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.

According to the article, it’s cool to friend an ex on a social-networking site because it may just be to catch up — it’s not always the lead-up to a hookup.

Sexting, on the other hand, should raise alarms, because “(if) he’s texting a girl in a steamy way, it means he’s taking the possibility of a relationship seriously.” Or he’s focused on a fling. Either way, it’s not a good thing for a relationship or anyone you’re trying to earn trust from.

By the way, apparently it’s OK to sleep in a bed with (but not sleep with) someone of the opposite sex (or same sex) — as long as you don’t cuddle. Cuddling is a no-no, boys and girls.