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By Jaundréa Clay -

A few weeks ago, a guy friend of mine sent me a link to Craigslist. Thinking it could be anything from English Mastiff puppies on sale to a washer/dryer set I'm looking to buy, I clicked on it.

To my surprise, it was a personal ad by a Dallas couple seeking an "attractive trainee" who was willing to be submissive and covert and who was into threesomes. With married folks.

Here's a perk: They would even provide food and lodging.

Somehow, this scenario appears to have the makings of either a porn movie plot or a horror movie plot. Like "Saw" meets "Forrest Hump."

My friend followed the e-mail up with, "You should totally do it. LOL."

I didn't ask him what he was doing checking out the "men seeking women" listings. Maybe that's his thing.

But as I scrolled through the ads, I became intrigued by the vast array of fetishes, fantasies, preferences, indulgences and pleas for companionship.

"Tall, educated guy looking for a nice lady," or "White male seeks dominant thick, black female," or "Looking for the macaroni to my cheese," or "Get paid and watch a movie with me" (I'd pass on that one).

I also became totally confused and befuddled by all the abbreviations.

DDFM for BBW . . . or CD for B/D. WTF??

Maybe I should have known what these meant, but, being that I've never placed a personal ad or responded to one, I didn't.

And furthermore, why do so many other people know what they mean?

Anyway, I went to Google and typed in "acronyms personal ads," and the top site had at least 96 references, from 420 (seeking pot) to W4W (woman for a woman).

DDFM for BBW stands for "drug/disease-free man for big, beautiful woman." CD for B/D is a cross-dresser who is into bondage and dominance (wonder if that Dallas couple would be interested?).

My research into personal ad abbreviations also revealed a deeper lesson: Our desires are just as varied and unique, yet as finite, as the abbreviations that stand for them. Our searches for companionship range from an expression of sexuality to an expression of loneliness, but these desires are muted by the anonymity personal ads provide.

So, having done my homework: DTEW 4 M w/GSOH. No MM. WLTM.

L8R.