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I didn’t go to the auditions for “The Biggest Loser” earlier this month, mostly because I’d feel like a real loser if I did. Most people disagree with me, but I swear I don’t just have a bad attitude. I have reasons.

I’ll start with the most superficial — I don’t want to have my picture taken in only bike shorts and a sports bra. Yes, I know this doesn’t actually happen unless you are selected to be on the show, but even the possibility of that happening freaked me out. 

Second, I don’t really want everyone to know how much I weigh. I don’t have a problem talking about how much I need to lose, but something about confessing the actual number is terrifying. I can say I need to lose 100 pounds and let people come to their own conclusions about what that number is. But you’re not getting that number out of me.

Third, I don’t have an interesting story to tell about why I gained all this weight in the first place. I’ve never been abused, and I have a sense of self-worth. Why would they pick a person who says, “I was lazy about food and working out in college, and I’m still trying to break those bad habits,” when they can choose someone who has bigger problems and needs the help more?

Last, and most important, I feel like going to the audition would be admitting that I am not able to do this on my own. I don’t believe that. If I ever audition for this show, it will be when it’s my last resort, when I’ve tried everything else and still can’t take off the weight. It will be when this is a life-or-death situation, which it is not.

I saw photos of people in that line, and there were people there who are clearly in a life-or-death situation. They are the ones who really need to be there.

I’m not trying to judge anybody who went to audition. Obviously, those people have their reasons for being there, just as I have my reasons for skipping it. Good for them! Just making the effort to try to be on the show is a step toward achieving better health, and those people must have really needed something big — like a wildly popular TV show — to make them take that first step.

I hope a couple of San Antonians make it to the series. I’ll be cheering them on and working my butt off on my own at the same time. Then, we can all be a good kind of loser.