CHRIS QUINN: ‘The Colony' works out the disaster-plan kinks
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A few years ago, I wrote about an elaborate escape/survival plan for the city in case of zombie infestation.
The plan was sound but never got out of committee at City Hall. I don't think anyone believes anymore. Or maybe it was because the plan consisted of me, my best friend Ben and about half a dozen office hotties barricading ourselves in Nagel's Gun Shop over on San Pedro Avenue. Or was it a furniture store? Whichever, it was the one across from the Murf's Better Burger.
We have access to guns — or futons (either are handy in a zombie assault) — food (Murf's), I was there (leadership and good looks), as were a bunch of smoking-hot chicks (the human race must go on) and Ben (because laundry needed to be done.)
A great plan! I even ended up marrying one of those hot chicks. And my best friend runs a successful downtown laundry (or maybe he said blog? I can never tell with him).
The point is that planning is everything in a crisis situation!
The Discovery Channel understands this; consider “The Colony” at 9 p.m. Tuesdays.
Take a group of super Americans and cut them off from all society. Concoct a global catastrophe and use mind-altering drugs to make them believe it. Place the survivors in an L.A. warehouse; limit food, water and necessities; restrict all luxuries; force them to adapt; and occasionally throw in Mad Max-type bikers.
You got one heck of a good show. Except for the drugs part, I made that up.
Even so, the participants ham it well. Because though nothing has really collapsed, the cast stresses out and anxiety abounds. It must be the eternal child within who likes to believe the lie because it is more fun than the truth.
And the truth is, in a real disaster scenario, a group of survivors would not consist of scientists, mechanics, bio engineers and whatever other super experts the show gathered.It's usually a jock, a slut, an account, a romantic nerd hero, his tomboy muse and maybe a fat TV writer.
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