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It's April 15. You're struggling through your tax form and sweating like Dick Cheney before a lie-detector test.

Maybe you just realized that you used your W-2 to paper the bottom of the birdcage. Maybe you're still trying to figure out how you can itemize the money you spend monthly on circus clown porn.

Relax.

It might be April 15, but if you handle this right, you don't need to file your taxes until Oct. 15.

No, I'm not going to share tax tips from Al Capone. I'm going to tell you that getting a six-month tax extension from the IRS is easy and legal.

Every U.S. taxpayer has the right to an extension, and the form to get one — Tax Form 4868 — is easy to obtain and fill out. If you're one of those computer-savvy types, you can file one via software, such as TurboTax or Tax Cut.

The extension form might not be available at your local post office like those enormous stacks of 1040EZ forms, but visit the San Antonio IRS office at 8626 Tesoro Drive, and I'm sure an overpaid federal employee would be happy to hook you up.

The only caveat is this: The IRS just asks for an estimate of what you owe on the extension form.

If you owe money on your tax return, at least 90 percent of the balance is due on April 15th, regardless of whether you have filed your taxes. If you didn't pay enough, Uncle Sam will send you a polite letter asking for more, plus a little interest.

Some people will warn you that asking for an extension puts you on the IRS' radar screen and makes you vulnerable for an audit — and maybe even a lengthy stay at Club Fed.

I urge you to stop listening to advice from these putty heads.

About 10 million people, or 7 percent of U.S. taxpayers filing 1040 forms, asked for extensions in the past two years, according to the Associated Press.

That should tell you a couple of things. First, extensions are so common there's no way yours is going to set off some kind of alarm bell. And, second, there's no frickin' way the IRS could audit that many returns, even if it wanted to.

Besides, a recent Wall Street Journal article points out that the folks who are most in danger of being audited make $10 million or more a year. If you're reading this rag, I'm guessing you're in the PBR-and-Taco Cabana tax bracket, not the Champagne-and-lobster tax bracket.

So file for that extension, give yourself six months to breathe easy. In the meantime, try to stay off of circusclownfetish.com.