Ball & Chain ponders if it's OK to look
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René Guzman joins Dustin for this month's Ball and Chain.
DC: You know, the other day, René, I saw you at the gym, and you seemed pretty infatuated with this girl. You went around smelling her used gym towel, and it made me think.
RG: It didn't make you run?
DC: I do the same thing. I'm just a little more discreet. I take the towel home with me. ... We're both married. We have families. Is it OK to look?
RG: I don't know if it's a matter of “Is it OK?” Maybe “Can you help it?” is a better way to phrase the question. ... I think it's human nature. ... It's kind of like telling someone, “Don't think of the color green.”
DC: Right.
RG: I think it's natural. I think there's obviously a big difference between looking and doing something about it. That's where the real ethical questions come into play.
DC: But you know, especially being married, there is a line you have to draw between looking and making it a habit. ... Because you don't want to go around mentally undressing every person you see. Because you know what that leads to?
RG: Mental nudity?
DC: Masturbatio habitualis. Which is Latin for habitual masturbation. See, all you have to do, René, is say something in Latin, and it sounds classy. Even masturbation.
RG: No, that didn't.
DC: Back to our topic. It's not only your partner who notices. Other people notice, too. ... I used to work with a person. It was a guy, and in the bathroom, he was notorious for looking down and checking out the other guy while standing side-by-side while taking a leak. ... If you're a guy, you know that's a no-no. You look straight ahead, and you don't talk in the bathroom.
RG: We're guys. We don't multitask well. I tend to have all my concentration on the task at hand. A bad, pun, but still.
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